Start Every Day with a Smile – Justin Hanks

Start Every Day with a Smile

Justin Hanks
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My mother used to say I should start every day with a smile.

Well, I’ve been thinking about it, and that’s a pretty tough task. When I wake up, my mouth is usually in a frowning position. And no, it’s not because I’m sad. It’s just my face. When I sleep, I have a literal “resting bitch face.”

Aside from the frown, my mouth is often tackling other obstacles. Sometimes it’s dry and chapped. Sometimes it’s wet and drooly. Sometimes it’s covered in whipped cream from the kinky night before.

Sorry Mom, but I’m set up for failure. There’s no possible way for me to follow your advice.

I mean, I could quickly adjust my face as soon as I’m coherent… but technically, that’s not “starting” my day with a smile. The frown still proceeds it. And besides, I don’t have the acting chops to pull off the switcheroo. Somebody would catch me. Somebody always catches me when I fake things in bed.

Even if I could fool the world with an Oscar-worthy performance, I have other questions regarding my mother’s advice. Am I supposed to interpret the “day” literally? Should I be smiling at precisely 12:00 AM?

This is a problem. Most midnights, I’m not even asleep yet. To follow the rules, I’d have to smile before I go to sleep. I would no longer be starting my day in the morning, but rather; I’d be starting my day in the middle of the previous night. I’d be starting my day on the previous day before the previous day was even over. Bedtime would be my morning. None of this makes any damn sense.

And what if I am asleep at midnight? Unless I develop a habit of sleep-smiling, there’s no hope for me. I’d have to find a way to hold my smile all night.

Maybe I could duct tape my lips. Maybe I could get Botox injections. Maybe I could hire a magical gnome that watches me in my sleep and touches my face when the time is right.

Bah, I give up. I’m not going to smile. Smiling is overrated. Who cares? And it’s not like this is the first time I haven’t listened to my mother… I have “whipped cream” stained sheets to prove it.

What’s the worst thing that could happen? If I don’t smile, there won’t be consequences. Well, at least I don’t think so. Unless this is one of those stupid superstition things. What if it’s like seeing a black cat, walking under a ladder, or breaking a mirror with your ugly face?

If I don’t start my day with a smile, will I have bad luck? Will I get hurt? Will I fall out of a window? Will I crap my pants?

This is more serious than I thought. I’m going to start every day with a diaper.

147 Responses

  1. Nnie says:

    I don't know ugh yeah that sucks. But I keep playing in my computer even my parents see me, they're too tired to scolded me and such so finally they let me 😀 but I rarely talked to them.

  2. Nnie says:

    Well my parents didn't care about me, they don't care about me and they banned me from computer several months ago, they love my little stupid sister more than me and such. They don't understand me and they don't want to 🙁

  3. Carla says:

    Well Luigi… lol I tend to start my day with my mouth just hanging open, I wonder what that means for my day? You never know, some days you may unknowingly start your day with a smile while you're dreaming. But then again… I think mom's only say that so they don't have to see the grumpy 'why-did-you-wake-me-up' look on their kids faces.

  4. Mary says:

    -burps louder- haha. i'm annoyed how about you?? BTW my birthday is in a month if you want to make me something 😉

  5. Jay says:

    I wake up everyday with a headache and a "why the hell didn't i sleep longer' expression. My days don't start when a day start, unless it's a school day my day starts at lunch time… It's quite impossible and why would I smile when there is no need for one. If that be the case, I'd be best friends with the Joker. Then just maybe I could ask "Why So Serious"

    Seeing as how much work that would take, I think starting the day off with a diaper, or maybe even toilet paper is FTW!

    Reply to your comment: I stayed because I was sick.. then got better. xD I did have fun and umm, I went back on the 8th.. (x

  6. Liz says:

    lol =O smile!! ;D

  7. Nnie says:

    Yeah…or no. Umm I don't know. Maybe just when I'm in my home. My relationship with my family isn't really good. Lol

  8. Lani says:

    Yeah diaper would probably be a good idea.
    And yes… as a matter of fact you caught me on a good day lol.

  9. Nnie says:

    First comment 😀
    Not much, just chatting with my friends~

    That's what my Mom used to say to because everyday my mouth frowning and such. She gave me 3-minutes-lecture today about that.

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