The Early Bird Gets the Worm – Justin Hanks

The Early Bird Gets the Worm

Justin Hanks
3 Shares

They say that the early bird gets the worm.  I don’t know who they are, but in my opinion, they should mind their own damn business. Did the birds start this rumor? If so, I hope they get the bird flu. It’s a stupid idiom, and I absolutely despise it.

Simply put, I disagree with the core message. It implies that the people who wake up earlier (or get things done first) will reap the benefits. Bullshit. It’s not always advantageous to be the first one up in the morning. Just look at the worm. If the worm had hit the snooze button, it wouldn’t be inside a bird’s tummy right now.

And frankly,  the expression is unfair. It assumes that all birds have an equal opportunity to be up at the crack of dawn, when truthfully, some birds are doomed from the start. There are poverty-stricken birds that can’t afford an alarm clock. They are stuck on bird-feed stamps. They live in cardboard nests.

And on the other end of the spectrum, you’ve got birds with an unfair advantage. Roosters are always up early. That’s kind of their thing.

Excuse my ramblings. In all seriousness, not everyone is a morning person. Some of us thrive at night. We shouldn’t have to follow any set schedule. We can accomplish greatness whenever we want.

I don’t want to live in a world where you can only be successful if you wake at sunrise. I’m always late to everything. Life will never go my way. I’ll probably end up with the worst job ever. What would that even be? I can just picture myself working some super sketch third-shift job at a nuclear testing facility scrubbing poop off of radioactive toilets.

And worst of all, I wouldn’t make a name for myself. No one would know my name. They’d call me Hell. They’d call me Stacey. That’s not my name. That’s not my name!

All of this because of a stupid expression about a stupid bird. It’s not worth it. The early bird can keep that stupid worm. I don’t want a nasty ass invertebrate. I’m not a fisherman. Call me crazy, but I believe that sleeping-in and having a mediocre existence sounds much better than chomping down on a squirmy, nasty bug.

Unless the worm is gummy.

122 Responses

  1. Sarah says:

    Haha, what are chucks? I’m looking at nikes.. maybe like these.. http://www.shoelowdown.com/image
    /ConverseTripleDeuceMensBasketballShoes_
    12968

    /converse_mens_basketball_
    shoes_triple_deuce3

    .jpg

    But our uniform is blue, so I dunno 😛

    love mario party! I always lost that game though 🙁 My brother always won, EVIL.

    I had a hard test today too! A stupid science test on chemical reactions 🙁 argg. What was your test on?

    I’m an early bird.. and I don’t eve like worms.. not even the sour ones 🙂

    Your blogs are so interesting 😛

    -Sarah

  2. Manda says:

    Yeah. I'm a early bird but def not by choice. I hate getting up in the morning. It's a drag.

  3. Stephine says:

    Agreed. I am NOT an early bird. Sleeping in is much better 🙂

  4. Vincent says:

    Urgh. I'm not an early bird, but I'm made to be one for stupid school. YES, I'm still in secondary/high school :(. I seriously despise it. I have to get up at 7:00 am :(. Luls. Thanks, and yeah, I might just add some peepee to my site =P

    – Vincent

  5. Amy says:

    Yeah, Bob the Builder's a great singer. I went to a party and the DJ ignored my request of Bob the Builder because it's childish. How mean.

    I've been sleeping in all week so someone else has been eating my worm. Power to them, they can have it. 🙂 You should never say that to children as it's no way of motivating them to get out of bed. The new version should be 'Sleep in and you can eat all the nice food you like.'

    xx

  6. Felisa says:

    I have to be up at 4:30 in the morning on Saturdays (and 5:30 on Sundays) to open at work so that makes me an early bird every day of the week. Not by choice though. However, most of the time, I feel like the early worm who gets eaten by the early bird.

    And as for your comment, the orange may look very promising from bird's eye view… then, you'll realize that it's actually an apple. Seeing things from a bird's eye view can be very deceiving. I say… be hungry for a banana!

  7. Gillian says:

    Lol yeaahhh, straight guys cant go long without a girl (:
    Sorry about the forwarding to the grvatar site, i dont kno why it was doing that.
    Hopefully it wont happen again.
    Dont worry you arent the only one who can get up in time.
    I always find myself running around like a duck with its head cut off rushing to catch my bus in the morning.
    Lmao i agree , worms are pooey and gross. I cry when i see them ….

  8. Marie Claire says:

    I hate getting up early… I think I'll stick to the same job as you 😛
    Sleeping is one of the best things in life… forget the worm!

  9. Mimi says:

    hahaha, I feel the same way as you. Even with coffee, I still have trouble staying awake. I like worms when they're colorful and fruity 🙂

  10. Justin says:

    so, i am so not an early bird at all, not by all means, i am so cranky in the morning, gah~ :O looks like we're in the same boat.

  11. Regina says:

    I am so not an early bird, which is why I always set my alarm clock 15 minutes ahead so that if I DO procrastinate I would still have enough time in the morning to get ready.
    I like my worms chewy and sour. XD

  12. Dylan says:

    I like how you related your whole post to the early bird catches the worm. 😀 anyway, it's been awhile since we've talked.

  13. Minteh says:

    Thanks. XD
    Heh-heh. Bird flu.
    Alarm clocks were invented by the person in the morning with nothihng better to do.

  14. Viki says:

    ahha.
    Why be hsad a custodian job, wearing that extremely attractive full body plumbing suit.
    OKAY maybe custodians don't wear those, but they should 😛
    ahha 'hope you get bird flu'
    lovelyy xD

    haha not really. she said all people sin. She called me a sinner too 😛
    That is incredibly true.
    They'll all die off and like all other groups rights gay rights will be put in place.
    In Civics the first thing we had to do was distinguish the group of people facing the hardest time globally.
    Homosexual.
    Ridiculous.
    I MEAN YOU GET A PARADE.
    Why can't I have one?
    haha ohh canada 😛

    yes overmindedness!
    All sorts of people rights are moving forward. 😀
    YEYAW

  15. Leann says:

    I am an early bird unfortunately, but I can say that I have never understood how people can stay up so late!! 😛 Haha, I love the bit about at least we humans can talk, 🙂

  16. Kaylee says:

    I don't mind if Mr. Chirpy eats all the worms. Like you said, I don't want worms, anyway 😛 But I like waking up earlier than everyone else! You can plan their downfall while they're still sleeping ;D

  17. April says:

    I hate waking up early. Blah. I don't want worms either, yucky. hahaha!

  18. Ariel says:

    Haha Justin, I love how weird you are…but I mean weird in a good way O_O don't kill me!!

    Ahh, I've been running around, doing nothing. But my friend and I finally opened our graphics site today(night). Check it out if you have time/want to.

    http://etude.colour-theory.org

  19. Esme says:

    I don't really like waking up early either.
    I can when I need to, but then most of the time I would be angry =P

  20. Meaghan! says:

    Lol. That reminds me of swimming caps XD Because it makes me look foolishly bald. And swim caps remind me of swimming =/ We have practice everyday now D: Super tiring.
    Thanks :] I probably will make you one :0 I only bailed because I forgot about it haha.

    Ahhh! We learned about idioms in like 5th grade, forgot about 'em all D:
    That means I won't be successful, I'm not a morning person 🙁 I absolutely HATE mornings.
    Ewwie, worms 🙁 They are so gross. They don't even have eyes :0

  21. Ria says:

    Down with early mornings. I don't wake up before 12 p.m. unless I'm being paid. lol.

  22. Liz says:

    lol! poor birdie hahaha xD

  23. Alya says:

    Haha you eat worms if they are sour! Wow.
    I can't wake up early either. I woke up today on about 2:00 pm… My mom was entering my room every second. saying: "Alya! wake up lazy head!!" lol hehe XD
    Anyways, Yah my happy days are over. I don't know if they are over though, at least that's what my mom said!! Evil her.
    Lucky laptop. I can't trash it anymore. But still I need an external.

  24. Brent says:

    You give new definition to the word over-exaggerating the metaphor.

  25. Ben says:

    I don't want to be the early bird. The late bird gets felt sorry for so the others give him their worms resulting in the late bird being the winner and getting the worms.

  26. Candy says:

    hahaha! the post was amusing to read, but do really expect me to believe that you dont have dreams or strive for anything in life? I'm sorry to read about this attitude.

  27. Evtiff says:

    Your blog was true and veryy intresting lol. haha i think im an early bird sometimes, depends if i have a commitment. lol and i love sour worms too. and fo sho ur on this list=]

  28. Gel says:

    Hahaha another interesting blog entry from Justin :p This semester in school we've been having 730 classes everyday and i'm proud to say that i've never been late in any of my classes in the morning!

  29. lillie says:

    lmaos. ur so funny 😀
    always make me smile ^-^

  30. Chrys says:

    WILL WORK FOR ALARM CLOCK!? Dude. That's amazing. How do you think of this stuff, honestly? It's genius 🙂

    I eat sour worms too. With the sugar on them in the colourful packets. Teehee 🙂 Candy = goooood.

    It was a cow, btw. And I have no clue what it was doing in a dog house, lol. Maybe it was cold 😀 And yeah, the sky in the first one is really, really pretty!!

    I'd love to be affies. I'll put your link up on my homepage 😀 Woohoo.

  31. Fee says:

    I am anything but and early bird! I hate getting up in the mornings and would much prefer to sleep until I actually feel like getting up =)
    Love your posts!
    *despair

  32. Tiff says:

    I think if you go to bed early, you can wake up at any time you'd like. Besides, if you owned your own business, you could start it at any time you want!

  33. Jill says:

    Stupid Mr. Chirpies of the world.

  34. Gillian says:

    Parts that were true, the train rides. And the dieng need to take a piss during the ride.
    Peeing in a Bush part was true, and instead of the draq queen incident the washroom doors were padlocked in real life xD
    The church ladies wasnt true, but the observation of a ding a ling by 3 girls was true. 😉

  35. Jay says:

    I'm one of those naturally born early birds. Even when I don't wake up to go out and get worms, I wake up and go get…….. never mind that. You thought I would keep talking! NOPE (-teehee).

    Sounds to me like someone doesn't like getting up early. If you ask me, there is hardly ever a GOOD reason to be up. If we had wings, think we'd have so much hatrid towards Mr. Chirpy? I DON'T THINK SO.

    (thanks for the compliment on my layout)

  36. Kyra D. says:

    Actually, my mom has considered getting a garden, but we need more sunlight on the lawn -jokes- 😉

    Even if I don't want to, I automatically get up before 8:00 on weekends :/ though I can't get to sleep until 12:00, so I haven't gotten more then 8 hours of sleep for the past 2 years :O

  37. Vincent says:

    Luls Thanks.
    Omg. I love the lips picture 🙂

  38. x says:

    Okay, you scared me a little bit……. lol.

  39. Spencer says:

    You know. I love it when people say "Avian Bird Flu." I'm like "DO YOU KNOW WTF 'AVIAN' IS YOU REDUNDANT BASTARD?"

    Oh, sweet sweet idiots, how we enjoy loling at you.

    I hate getting up early, too, and I only do it when I HAVE to for school. I'm usually late at getting up early though. I don't care.

  40. Vincent says:

    Me.. awesme? o_O. Thanks 🙂
    You're awesom-err xD

  41. Vincent says:

    Rofls. Aww, I wanna go to the school of awesome, I think I go to the school of boredem. D:

  42. Vincent says:

    Lulls. *Cough* Gives viruss >:]]]

  43. Jay says:

    xD I was just saying.. I'm an early bird. You so chomped me off!

  44. Kyra D. says:

    Well, my mother is a vampire, so I have bat blood in me…I'm naturally nocturnal =.= though I'm slowly moving my sleep schedule to a more normal rate.

    Still…I can't stop myself from navigating in the dark using sound waves o.o it's a problem.

  45. Vincent says:

    Yeah well…….
    uhm… ah..
    I'm out. 🙁

    xD

  46. Vincent says:

    Lulssss. Ok, OMGS. SUDDENLY ITS A TIEE! o_O

    you're so random =P

  47. Stephine says:

    Thanks 🙂 It was nice to actually get something done instead of sit here & complain and procrastinate about my site, haha.

    Thanks for answering the questions 🙂

  48. Vincent says:

    Yeah.. thats why.. 🙂

  49. Dylan says:

    Yes, I just like to have fun. lol

  50. Jessica says:

    lol, thanks for your comment Justin. Short but sweet. made me smile 😉
    lmao for the blog…procrastination is the future. that early bird stuff only applies if theres brownies and you are trying to beat lots of hungry sugar-crazed children for them. Then its "the early bird gets the brownie"
    Aside from that I dont see the point in getting up at stupid o clock in the morning to get a worm, metaphorical or otherwise when you can stay up late and live off of red bull and pro plus for the same, if slightly over caffinated, result….

  51. Kyra D. says:

    Oh, of course, what kind of fruit-loving animal do you think I am?
    Instead of a bed, I merely have a poll attached to the ceiling from which I can hang from :3

  52. Dylan says:

    Yes, that's fun too. So, what have you been up to lately?

  53. Dylan says:

    nice. nothing really…………..boringness.

  54. Vincent says:

    In a non-painful way? Luls.
    Ok..
    *Pokes in the eye*

  55. Lani says:

    Haha almost, it was touch and go there for a bit… Actually school has been doing its best to kill me softly so I haven't updated in aaaaages, or come around to read your hilarious post (is there gonna be one about the late mouse?).

  56. Waldi says:

    Yes, I did very much waste my time on my awesome three snow days. (;
    ROFL.

  57. Vincent says:

    Omg. Did she atuallly day that? Lolll!

  58. Dylan says:

    Well… Umm… What did i do… -thinks-

    I know, i hung out with friends last night and got introuble. 🙁 long story.

  59. Jay says:

    *CHIRPS REAL LOUD* I'm a force to be reckoned with. You're going to make me have to swoop you up into my wings and feed you to my baby birdies! Now mess with us and we'll peck you where it hurts!

  60. Jessica says:

    Aw, your hatred for the early birds runs deep xD Ahahaha! I'm a pretty early bird, and I DO have an alarm clock xD Pahahaha. But, if it makes you feel any better, I haven't gotten any farther by getting up early than late, honestly.

  61. Shell says:

    Ahahaha. Thank you for the sarcastic yet lovely comment, I really needed that. 🙁

    Mentioning of birds.. Do the guys there that are straight and have partners, call their partner a 'bird'? I'm just curious.

  62. Nnie says:

    You can just change your internal computer clock! 🙂 I played it at daytime too and then I changed the clock. I was too scared to play that game at the night lol hahaha

  63. Gillian says:

    LMAO, my friend whos a boys DING A LING.
    Gawsh id never expose my own ding a ling … KEEEEDAAANNGGGGGGGG .

  64. claire says:

    hahaha i don't want a worm either lol. i agree. ill be poor. no worm meals for me lol!

  65. Vincent says:

    It does 😛
    Mean little children :S

  66. Phi says:

    Haha, waking up early sucks ass, huh? I concur, sleeping in is the way to go!

  67. Jay says:

    No regurgitation for you then! You didn't deserve it anyways. Worms it is!

  68. Dylan says:

    Don't wanna talk about it 🙁

  69. Willian says:

    I get what you mean "the early bid gets the worm", oh gez, really boring.
    I will never get the worm either, as I wake up at 10 and I'm almost late for everything. Poor us!

    I hope the early bird gets the bird flu too! lol

  70. Vincent says:

    EEK.
    Children mafias xD

  71. Dylan says:

    i dont care at all. lol. i just dont like talking about getting introuble etc, pain, badness. lol. so, whats up?

  72. Dylan says:

    cool. What did you eat? i hada chinese. yummzz.

  73. Vincent says:

    Luls. Well, I didn't know what to say, mine was a follow-on joke about our discussion about the girl that poked the other girl in the eye.. etc etc.
    Thats why I didn't know what to say xD

  74. Dylan says:

    whoa. the stores here ran out of indian months ago! you are so lucky!

  75. Lani says:

    Wow really? It's totally a Justin joke.
    The late mouse gets the cheese

  76. Vincent says:

    Oh my gawshh. Youre OTT 😛 (overthetop)
    I can't think of any jokes 🙁

  77. lillie says:

    you can view the new layout here:
    http://www.lillie.saranghae.org/skins/9

    i had no idea how to make my drawing a layout so yeahh. o_o.

  78. Nnie says:

    hahaha yeayy! tell me if you're done 😀 hahaha lol. btu i guess it won't scare you.

  79. Tammy says:

    nice layout.. good job keep it up

  80. Nnie says:

    It didn't scare you right? 8D
    which stage that frighten you so much?

  81. Sarah says:

    Haha, yurr, bromo is going to be awesome! I'm a bit worried about the hiking though, my knee has really been acting up 🙁

    How are you?

    -Sarah

  82. x says:

    well then screw the stores. lol. so, how are you?

  83. Ben says:

    Yeah, our snow wasn't lumpy.. it was just… ice? Then a thin layer of snow that stuck to your gloves which was good because I didn't get hit with snowballs. I got hit with an ice ball instead though which was worse!

  84. Brent says:

    I saw Quidam in person~ The only cirque show ive seen on television was Alegria. Seeing it on TV ruins it for me Live. Saltimbanco was seen in person. Seeing La Nouba, Kooza, and Wintuk later this year~

    AND YOU GIVE A NEW DEFINITION TO THE WORD DEFINITION
    e_e

  85. farah says:

    lol, i am SO not an early bird. i can't function before 8:00am – or i can't function WELL anyways. before 8, i'm a cranky bitch. haha.

  86. Sylvia says:

    Amen to that! Here's to living a mediocre life and not chomping down on those icky bugs!

    Procrastination for life!

  87. Pauline says:

    Hey there!
    I love your site
    It's so inspiring. 😀
    Keep it up 🙂

  88. Gillian says:

    Lmao well in a simpler way : I DO NOTTTT HAVE A DING A LING.
    It was my friend whos a boy whos ding a ling got exposedddd. As for me, im scarred for life.
    Im not up to much, i have to get down to whole bunch of hmk how about you ?

  89. Waldi says:

    Yea, good thing I'm alive, right?! *wink wink* ROFL. Yes, I am. Yay.. ._. LOL.

  90. dylan~!! says:

    You probably had fun though. Come on, Am i right?!?

    dylan~!!

  91. Gillian says:

    truuuue .
    what subjects are you taking ?

  92. Emme says:

    haha stupid bird. I know what you're feeling~
    hah, yes…yes I did just mention you in my blog an you are just amazing xD.
    Ha, thanks. I tried to do a video of the tutorials, but I didn't sound so serious. I kept laughing and then the camera would get all…bah it was just bad, ha.

  93. Gillian says:

    Ohsnap, french and calculuss dont sound too fun.
    I have math, english business and science ( all rlly hard D: )

  94. Shellz says:

    Yeah, unfortunately the early bird does get the worm. 🙁 I've noticed whenever I wake up early, my entire day goes well. When I wake up late and I'm not on time for anything my entire day is just crap. So, yeah, unfortunately it's all true. I'm really good at being on time for most things, but I still could use some work, haha.

  95. Evtiff says:

    idr if i cmted this before so if this is a second cmt ur SUPER LUCKY. im only spending about 20 minutes cmting blogs. lol no aim.. i would get distracted. lol and yea i should pur your veriosn of it i were a boy=]

  96. Christine says:

    I hate waking up early. I see no point in dragging your body out of bed, when you could easily have a good day with more sleep. I hate the cliche sleeping ways of life, haha.

  97. lillie says:

    lmaos..
    i hope you mean high on life o_o…

  98. Shell says:

    Err… Let me see if I can put it clearer than I did in the first place.

    Say a male friend of yours has a girlfriend.
    And this friend refers to his 'girlfriend' as his 'bird' instead? Just another term for girlfriend really.

    Is that used where you live?

  99. Nnie says:

    Ugh I couldn't solve the code that the insane guy gave…

  100. Angelica says:

    Eearly birds are tired all day and waste their lives on carreers when there's so much more fun things out there!

  101. Kat - Kat says:

    Hahahahaha ~ that was hilarious! hahahaha :))

    and OMG! So I'm a poor bird coz I don't wake up early. LOL ^_^

    btw, yeah, I applied for your affiliates, mind to?? 🙂 just let me know if you want to ^_^

  102. Alya says:

    Lol haha!
    I did not think about that. haha. I am pretty dum you know!!
    Anyways, how is your week? Having a great time?

  103. Sarah says:

    Haha yeah! Or I could just learn how to fly and fly up the mountain.. I don't think flying requires good knee movement 🙂

    Had any sledding incidents recently? 😉

    -Sarah

  104. Waldi says:

    Yea, I bet you were, huh? ;]
    Tehee.

  105. Jane says:

    I think that as long as you make the most of your time then you will be successful. Some people do night shifts, some people do day shifts and both can be equally successful.

  106. Alicia says:

    LOL that poor bird, you're wishing him ill. *shakes finger*

    meh, I am also a procrastinator. 😀 *high fives* I just can't be bothered with so many things in life. But I guess of you try your best and all those other cliches that aren't coming to my mind at the moment, you can be successful in life. (:

    What are you talking about you don't eat worms? Nonsense.

  107. Erin says:

    Well, if you're going to get technical on me …No, you're right though 🙂

    Hmm, birds keep waking me up on my days off and weekends. Chirping outside my window for half an hour. Maybe there should be a whole day of procrastination once a week or something 😉

  108. Cari says:

    Aha, I'm never early either, I wake up nice and late whenever I can, but of course, I get in a ton of trouble for it by the parents >_>

  109. Robmarie says:

    LOL @ Bird Feed Stamps! "It's the first of the moooooooonth!" – Bone, Thugs-N-Harmony

    If life's accomplishments were measured by how early one wakes up, I'd be a total failure. I mean, I wake up relatively early *now* — but left to my own devices, anything followed by an "AM" is simply killer!

  110. Cynthia says:

    Pffft, don't get mad that the bird's better than you at waking up. 😛

  111. kitty says:

    If you are a 'poor bird' who lives in a carsboard and can't afford an alarm clock, you should just open your cardboard window and allow those filthy birds that sing at 4 fucking am to wake you up. V_V

  112. gena says:

    ha thats so funny.

  113. Liz says:

    im back! xD lol

  114. Sandra says:

    I'm definitely not a morning person. I'm not really human before noon and I'm at my best somewhere between 10 PM and 3 AM. So screw that bird that's all goodie goodie and gets up early. I'll eat that for lunch once I finally get out of bed.

  115. Aimey says:

    Eww alarm clocks! Waking up early stinks. 🙁

  116. Alexandra says:

    I feel sorry for the birds that don't eat worms. Early penguin catches the krill just doesn't have the same ring to it.

  117. Chelsea says:

    Haha, yes sour worms are my favorite worm, too 😀 i'll buy you some sour gummy worms if you buy me some too, k?
    And i hate waking up early, so fuck the worm.

  118. Tammy says:

    um, its alright you ?

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My name is Justin, and this website is devoted to my many hobbies. From writing and web development to theater and cosplay, I'm always up to something. I haven’t been myself ever since I was born.

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