I Pronounce You Hand and Wife – Justin Hanks

I Pronounce You Hand and Wife

Justin Hanks

I sang at a wedding the other day. They even paid me. I know, I know; it’s great that I’m finally becoming a celebrity and all, but I’m worried I wasn’t good enough. I might have made a mistake and inadvertently ruined their marriage before it even started.

Some day, the two of them will get into a huge fight over diaper-changing and remember the awful vocalist who started it all…

The bride will say something like, “I know I told you it ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings, but remember the chubby homo at our wedding? He’s close enough.”

And then he’ll retort, “Yeah, well, I must have been high when I married you; higher than the note he failed to hit.”

And then she’ll say that their marriage was a bigger disaster than my hair. It’ll never stop. The diaper will never get changed. The angry baby will grow up and kill me.

Maybe I’m over-thinking it. I tend to do that. In fact, while performing at the wedding, I started over-thinking a lot of things. This led to some fun questions. For example, how come when a man proposes to a woman, he asks for her hand in marriage?

Why’s it gotta be the hand? Hands are gross. According to every Dove soap commercial, hands are constantly dirty and covered with germs. Who wants to associate their love with filth and hangnails?

There are certainly more interesting body parts. And if you plan to go on a honeymoon, there are indeed more essential ones.

You could ask for her shoulder in marriage. Or since it’s ’til death do you part, you could ask for a spare organ.

How about her back, her wrist, her elbow, leg, ankle, nose, heel, toe, neck, thigh, or breast? “Sir, I’ve fallen deeply in love with your daughter, and I’m asking for her ass in marriage.”

Yuck. Suddenly the hand is making sense.

But I still don’t get why we have to isolate body parts at all. Call me creepy, but when I fall in love with someone, I fall in love with all of them.

106 Responses

  1. Sean says:

    And all this time….I believed that you loved me for my hands alone. This revelation is comforting. To hear that you love every part of me? Wow….just…..just wow.

    But yeah…it is weird. Back in the day they actually use to tie your hands together using rope and a marriage knot….that's where the phrase tying the knot comes from. If it were, "Ask for your leg in marriage," they would tie the legs together…and that is basically a three legged race. Why not just have a ceremonial potato sack race while your at it?…and a picnic. (Potato salad….yum!)

  2. Lee says:

    Wow, you sung in a wedding! You were probably good, and homos are cool!!
    Your hair is nice. XD
    He wants her ass in marriage, nice…
    Hands can be useful in honeymoons too, I have heard. πŸ˜›
    If I had to pick one body part, it'd be the brain; and not because I'm a zombie. I am not a zombie. ;D
    I've never fell in love, but I'd fall in love with all of them too.
    You're not creepy!

  3. Julianne says:

    Lol I just thought it was so they could put a ring on the finger of your hand… I think?

    That's pretty cool that you sang, you're gonna make it big kid πŸ˜‰

    I'm glad no one has ever asked for my ass in marriage though. But it does sound really old school to ask for someone's hand in marriage. I think we just say 'Marry Me' now.

  4. Jetice says:

    Wow that was quite hilarious! Ruining a marriage due to horrible vocals on the wedding singer. heh heh.

    I use to believe that they ask for the hands in marriage because thats the part of the body that will be doing most of the work at home. Yanno cleaning, cooking, diaper-changing, grabbing grocery bags, the list goes on and on. Lol. I would understand if they asked for the shoulder. Because then it would mean that they need someone to lean on.

  5. Kyra says:

    Oh, yes, now you're going to get me all worried who sings at my wedding (er, when I get married, that is. If I manage to snag a wealthy idio–…er, if I find "the one") I'll be wondering if by picking someone with the wrong voice, I could be ruining my marriage!
    Thanks a lot, Justin.

    "I would like your body in marriage" – that just sounds shallow 0_o why not "I'd love to have your entire being and mind in marriage!" I think it'd be cool to be proposed to like that ^3^

    Well. That was entertaining blog. And from now on, I'm going to be very conscious of how people propose D: I'll let you know if I hear of any interesting lines!

  6. Katie says:

    Well, you must be good if you got the job to play at a wedding!!

    I think it's based on the fact that the love/marriage is binded within the rings that are on her hand? Or something around that anyway. Good question to think about!

  7. Cecilie says:

    Haha, that was a funny post:P

    Yeah, it sounds very weird to ask someone for their hand in marriage:P

  8. Monnii Bee says:

    Hands are icky >.< you use them to wipe your bum and pick your nose and you put them in your mouth- gross

    but yah, i think they ask for a hand in marragie because in the olden days the ring was like a leash 0.0 or so my feminist teacher told me.

    Falling in love with all of a person is a good thing =]

    Really, it is!

  9. Jhase says:

    Wow, you know, you have such a twisted mine. Ruined marriage because of Wedding Singer, that would be hilarious. I'd watch that as a tv comedy. I'm sure you did a great job saying the words though.

    You know the whole hand thing, I figured it was because thats where they'll be flashing that expensive effing ring. For those can afford it of course, but still other than that I don't get it. But I guess it beats asking your lovers father can you have their child's "sacred" parts in marriage.

    Because yeah, that'd be weird.

  10. Marriage is primarily an economic arrangement. There are to-day large numbers of men and women to whom marriage is naught but a farce, but who submit to it for the sake of public opinion.

  11. Laura says:

    Justin :D! How are you? Wow you sang at a wedding and got money. You are awesome! Send me some money if you feel that you have too much, what with you being famous and stuff :D. Ha you make a fair point but you were good I'm sure so you don't have to worry :).

    Another fair point you make! Darn Justin your blogs always make me think :P. I don't want to think until September when I actually have to! I'm a girl though so I'll never have to worry about asking for someone's hand (or shoulder) in marriage. Unless of course I decide to be untraditional and purpose to the guy :D.

    Well I do agree I've never dated a guy simply because I liked his hands (although I'm sure nice hands are an added bonus :))

  12. Becca says:

    Hands or not, I'm very <b>deeply</b> opposed to the idea of asking anybody other than myself for my own marriage. My partner and I will get married some day, but if I hear that he asked for my hand from my father (or even both of my parents) I will be very upset. No one is allowed to give me away! I am my own woman and I sure as hell won't follow some archaic tradition. I'm sure most gentlemen do it as a gesture, but I've already discussed it with Max that I will have NONE of it. πŸ˜› I'm also against my father walking me down the aisle and giving me away at my own wedding. I'll walk myself down the aisle, thank you very much. πŸ™‚
    Maybe I'm too modern, but forgive me. Marriage shouldn't be some archaic tradition that we do to keep up with society. I think it should be a binding contract between PEOPLE (not just man/woman) that love each other.
    Not that divorce is disgusting. But if a faction in this country is fighting against homosexual marriage, shouldn't they also fight against divorce? I'm just sayin'. Stupid hypocrites.
    As for Max and I – we will not be getting married until everyone has the right to. And we mean everyone. πŸ™‚
    Sorry, didn't mean to post an entry on your blog – but it's something I get worked up about. Women are still treated as property to some people. Of course, the women who are are to scared/stupid to fight it. ^_^

  13. Chynna says:

    I actually laugh out loud everytime I read your blogs! Way to cheer up my day, thanks πŸ™‚
    I'm sure you did fine at the wedding. And if the married couple ever do get a divorce, it's they're own fault for not keeping the love alive. Haa.
    I'd like to hear you sing :3 Bet you're good, ha.


  14. Eka says:

    "…her ass in marriage"

    Oh, you'll get your fame… one wedding at a time. I'm sure you did just fine. =)

    I like the 'bumface'. Whoever pulled that card totally lost that argument.

    I'd assume they ask for their hand because of the ring… Personally, I'm kind of anti-marriage. A couple should be together because they want to; rather than feeling obligated to stay together because of a stupid ring.

    …Ugh, if my grandmother was dead, she'd be rolling over in her grave hearing/reading that. =|

  15. Stepherz says:

    If someone asked for my ass in marriage, it would be a definite yes. 'Til enema do us part.'

  16. Jackie says:

    You're hilarious! These random tangents you go on make me laugh so loud sometimes that people around me think I am crazy ^_^

    You totally have a point though. I mean there ARE other parts.. why a hand? I think this is a question for a senior philosophy class! Hahah imagine their analysis.

  17. Alice says:

    You're REALLY funny lol
    I totally lmao at the "ass in marriage" part. Still giggling a little lol
    I don't either understand the thing with the hand. But I don't believe in marrage generally, so…
    I live your site! Nice layout!

  18. Diamond says:

    Lmfao you sang at a wedding haha. Woo! xD You should start your own service haha.

    Lmfao. I guess that is why they say you NEED to keep on washing your hands and stuff. :3 You put your soon to be bride/groom's ring in her/his finger so you gotta take the hand lol. A hand is vital too, so yeah… πŸ˜›

    So how are you? πŸ™‚ I followed you on twitter earlier today! I didn't know you tweet lol. Follow me! @diamondmystical! :]

  19. Regina says:

    Lol, nice. Maybe it's for the ring? I have no idea, but it's funny to me that the man only asks for the hand, 'cause yeah, the hand's clearly the reason he wants to marry her.

  20. Shola says:

    LOL, true dat.

    Being a English language geek I can provide a logical answer for their hand in marriage.

    Basically, men never asked the wives for their hands in marriage, they asked their father's for their daughters hand in marriage. Cause Daughters belonged to the father and was guided (symobolism of hand) by their father's through life. When a man ask for the hand, he asked for permission of ownership, hence why fathers GAVE their daughters away. It's really quite chauvinistic tbh.

    I loved this entry though. πŸ˜€
    I want your arse in marriage, and maybe some boobs too. xD

    And I am surre you'll be remembered as that dude with the crazy white kid afro hair who did an amazing job at the wedding. πŸ™‚

  21. Justin… can I have your liver in marriage?

  22. Kathy says:

    Awe, I am sure you did fine! Your blog made me laugh. πŸ™‚ Thanks!

  23. Trish says:

    "Sir, I've fallen deeply in love with your daughter, and I'm asking for her ass in marriage."

    LOL, I don't think my dad would be too excited about that…that'd cause him to bring out the rifle.

  24. Pam says:

    You sang at a wedding? o.O You're brave, haha. You should have posted a video so we could all watch. xD

    I don't geth that either. Why hand? Maybe because they put the ring on their hand as a sign of commitment? Or maybe it's because the guy who started it really liked hands. I guess we'll never know.

    Ass sounds so much better, it has a kind of kick to it.

  25. masoud says:

    justin, justin, justin!!
    Your blogs are fun to read, as always. I really laughed when reading the part where this married couple argues.
    YOU ARE CREEPY,. but in a good way πŸ˜›
    May I marry your eye-lashes? πŸ˜›

  26. Caity says:

    Haha you are too funny. I loved singing at my first wedding. I do enjoy cantoring weddings. Singing the Ave Maria is my favorite thing ever. I get paid $150 per wedding now. It is awesome.

    My mind tends to drift at weddings too especially since I've done so many. I think you have me beat on randomness, though! πŸ˜›

  27. Lee says:

    Actually, yeah!
    I'm too random~ D:
    But it's a good example, I love the Simpsons. >o<

  28. milu says:

    hahaha…funny post^^
    i think because the ring , but why no neck and getting necklace ?
    aww…is homework for everybody πŸ˜›

  29. Lee says:

    I'm a panda.

  30. Caity says:

    Yes, I do. I even sung at my own wedding. I lost count of how many weddings I've sung at.

    Here is a clip from the Ave Maria at my wedding. The sound quality is awful and I personally hate it but people tell me it's okay.


  31. Jaylin says:

    Well atleast you're getting singing experience lol. 'hand in marriage'..i always wondered why they said that.

  32. Lee says:

    I'm still a panda.

  33. Mom says:

    You are so funny!! You have to ask for her “hand” in marriage, because it just wouldn’t be right to ask for her “vagina” in marriage….and let’s face it, that’s the body part you’re really marrying. Been there, done that. Love, Mom

  34. Lee says:

    I don't know, I'm just pointing out the fact that you're talking to a panda.
    Which is weird.

  35. Mom says:

    Hi Justin!
    It's mom again. I know this has nothing to do with the wedding blog, but I am going to miss you when you go back to college! The cats will miss you too. I had fun at BW3's! Love, Mommy

  36. Lee says:

    Would you care for a cup of tea?
    I SAY!

  37. Lee says:

    But… pandas don't go to jail!

  38. Lee says:

    …You kill them.

  39. Diamond says:

    Thanks Justin!
    Yeah I guess.. you're right. Did you ever have the same kind of problem with maintaining a site and all? :3 I'm sure not though haha.

    U bet its kickass! XD

  40. Georgina says:

    No, I suppose not! But I'm mostly Indonesian and so are all my relatives. Speaking Chinese is like… WOAH to me.

    Woo, a celebrity! Sing at my wedding! :3

    It's quite true though… who asks for a hand in marriage. What's wrong with "you" (ie. the whole of you). Even saying the heart or some other organ is… more creepy than loving all of someone!

    You ever wonder why they say "lend a hand"? I heard about an Italian girl who went to America and someone asked if they could give her a hand with her suitcase and she said "Don't you need it?"

  41. Francine says:

    no,its not sad. its COOL!

    oh god,seriously,your blogs are GENIUS!

    i dont think their parents would be happy if you ask for her ass in marriage…very..not formal.

    ive never thought about the hand.

    shouldnt it be more like….love in marriage…? or …soul? but soul makes you sounds like your some demon hunter or exorcist..

  42. Francine says:


  43. Merete says:

    Naaw.. Thanks ^^ I'm glad you liked it. Sup?

  44. jetice says:

    Really you asked a question… are you sure you aren't happy… which one was it…?

    Single White Female is about a woman who gets a roommate who ends up trying to become more than just her best friend… she tries to become her. Um.. if you have onDemand you can watch it in the free movies section. Its somewhat old.. but its really good in my book.

  45. Erika says:

    yeah really random collection of fears :O but they do freak me out big time!

    Aha, and all those fears are downtown from me LOL!

    "the spouses may get into a huge fight over diaper-changing and remember the awful vocalist that started it all…" LMFAO. I nearly peed a little πŸ˜‰ when i read that! Haha.

  46. Rachel says:

    Haha, funny as always. xD That is kind of strange that a man asks for a woman's hand in marriage.

    Mm yeah, I also only put songs that I really like on my iPod, but eventually I get tired of them so then I get my shuffling syndrome. πŸ˜›

  47. Amanda says:

    haha I don't know, I guess the little sprucing of the hosting page really worked XD with the help of visiting some freewebs sites XD

    and thanks for the concern! I went to therapy the other day and I learned some excercises that I have to do everyday. Pretty easy but some are very tiring XD

  48. Theresa says:

    haha. it was so much fun!

    but I guess asking for their hand in marriage symbolizes unity and stuff? like two hands together? haha idk. :]

  49. Kristina says:

    Haha yes. Compare lists.
    " Did you ah get the spare underpants for the first day?"


    πŸ˜‰ lol

    Ah, Justin I always adore reading your blogs. Always interesting.
    And I see your point, why not the ass, instead of the hand? '-__-
    It would be awkward though… In front of family members… xD

  50. Aimee says:

    You have the weirdest thoughts my friend hahahaha but its true! I've actually always wondered that too though so I guess we both are weird πŸ™‚

    The pain is where my appendix and gallbladder is and whenever I eat it hurts more or I feel nauseous. Its getting better and I guess I'm being lazy lol πŸ˜€

  51. Francine says:

    oh,are we affies now? ^___^

    ill add your link once i get my new layout up!

  52. Francine says:

    nah,i put your link up. its gonna take me years to change my layout.

  53. Thanks for the comment! I will defintley post pictures! I know I'm not good at explaining things!

  54. Ariel says:

    For realz, I think only you can make these things interesting to read. When I'm proposed to (if ever..) I'll ask the guy to take my whole being in marriage.

  55. Francine says:

    lol,im sure youre not.

    but bleh,i cant be asked making the new layout…

    what browser do you use?

  56. Diamond says:

    WOW for 11 years? COOL. Thats just plain scary though. its only like yesterday. time flies! D: πŸ™

    Yeah! So you also had probs I see. Well thats good to know. haha. Its only natural to find such probs! Still cant believe its 11 years though. Im sure it was only like yesterday? xd

  57. Francine says:

    i know….i knew that would be a problem since my screen is widescreen…damn. i may have to make the background image smaller but any more smaller and itll make the layout look "empty" if you know what i mean… gah! perhaps i can move the image more to the left….*hmmmmh*

  58. Francine says:

    if you say so… ill probably just sabotage the whole layout anyway if i try to change it… =P

  59. Francine says:

    lol,ive actually sabotaged a lot of layouts before..most of them involve me messing about with my css…i hate it when that happens…

  60. Francine says:

    i do now! i learned the hard way that i should back them up!!

  61. Rene says:

    hahaha oh goodness. that is some funny stuff to just start thinking while at a wedding…

    haha. and that awesome that you sang at their wedding. i am pretty sure you did a good job tho :]

  62. Diamond says:

    Lmfao. You still have old sites up your sleeve? Wow. That's pretty cool. Sometimes I switch sites due to names and stuff… Like even maybe host probs and stuff like that. Haha I won't be registering my domain just yet anytime soon! πŸ˜› I'm happy with my host! <3

    Wow… "Old" nick shows? Like Rugrats or something? Or wait… Rocko's Modern Life? Lol I'm not sure what old Nick shows were…

  63. Lee says:

    Ehh… sorry for being late for returning your comment. It was marked as spam. πŸ˜›
    Noo I don't want to die!
    Pandas are nearly extinct! >:D

  64. Chynna says:

    Haa, I actually laughed out loud when I read your comment (:
    Big Brother disappointed me big time! The one I wanted to go, didn't. The public are stupid. Tut.


  65. Ben says:

    I totally agree, hand, lol. And lmao, a bum in marrage? I wonder what the couple think now. :p

  66. Gillan says:

    lol,i don't get it too.why is it the hand?
    and i agree with you on:
    "Call me creepy, but when I fall in love with someone, I fall in love with all of them. "
    –call me creepy too πŸ™‚

    of course,you're still an affie. dude!i can't retrieve my password on your forum.help me :'(

  67. Farah says:

    I've never thought of it that way before, but you're right! When I marry someone I want them to love me, not my hand. So whoever asks for my hand in marriage is SO getting turned down. Heh.
    Nah, I'm joking. It would be awkward, though, wouldn't it? "I'd like your stomach in marriage." "I'd like your eyes in marriage." Lmao. Idk why, but hand sounds so much better.

  68. Kat says:

    LOL but we all know that garlic is mildly irritating but wont protect you, it's silver that you need, and a stake hehehhe it's good though i really like it

    LOL i'm sure you didn't sing that bad lol
    LOLOLOLOLOL they probs ask for their hand in marriage since thats where they put the ring, it'd be funny if they put the ring somewhere else
    great blog though hehehe

  69. Merii-Beth says:

    LOL thank you ! (:
    he was bus that day though..
    so we couldn't hang out. :'( loll.

  70. Greg says:

    This is you're funniest blog ever, well apart from the fat man who crapped him self in macdonalds (poop a lot haha). I know you might end up being the cause of a life of love down the drain, i'm joking :| I'm sure you're singing was great! I love singing! πŸ˜€ And thats always puzzled me too (well only since you brought it up)! haha. I have a new layout up! Please check it out and tell me what you think! (:

    p.s the babies eyes in you're layout are huge! haha

  71. Taversia says:

    LOL…….you're silly Justin. πŸ˜›

    But yeah, that was a really cute way to conclude this post. I "aww"d. 8)

  72. Sam says:

    "Sir, I've fallen deeply in love with your daughter, and I'm asking for her ass in marriage."
    I lol'd. ^^

    I know what you mean. Sometimes I just can't get why people do and say certain things because they don't make any sense.

  73. brittany! says:

    haha! thanks![: and i will try to be done as soon as i can![: gosh i cant get over your site name! x'D so, how have you been?! πŸ˜€

  74. Jay says:

    i've already grown used to texting on my iphone and i've had it for a week πŸ™‚ it's an impressive phone and the apps are absolutely addicting!

    i'm sure you did fine with your vocals! if they hired me, now that would be a totally different story. at that point, they probably wouldn't even continue the reception.

    if i were to ask someone for their "hand in marriage", i would rather say "will you marry me?" or something along those lines, according to whom i'm speaking to. asking for a body part is somewhat awkward.

  75. Angelica says:

    This made me think about the bisexuals who proclaims that they don't fall in love with a sex, but a person. Compared to us straight or gay people who apparantly only fall in love with a sex. So perhaps if I ever want to marry a guy I should ask for his penis in marriage. After all that part is more interesting than a hand.

  76. Shur says:

    O ya, good point. Hands ftl.

  77. Gillan says:

    my username is mgfrox

  78. Helena says:

    Ass in marriage! Now how do you think this serious tension could be broken! Though yeah it does make sense, a hand is def. not enough!

    Thanks for the compliment on my layout too yo :}

  79. Shellz says:

    Hand in marriage maybe to put the ring on? perhaps. lol You can put a ring on someone's butt, unless it's reaaally small and that would be pretty nasty. =x

  80. thuyy says:

    This is why people are changing it to "Will you marry me?!", Justin.
    And aw, that last line wasn't creepy, it was…somehow sweet.
    Bleh. Justin=sweet?

  81. Allie says:

    LMAO. Your blog, once again, made me laugh. πŸ™‚ "May I have your ass in marriage." Hah! Hilarity. LOLOLOL. Yup, you definitely need other ..er.. body parts in honeymoons. xD (IE: Justinavivigina) ;]
    Hmph. Meanie butt. -.-

  82. jetice says:

    Heh for you… I wont use BOLD anymore… Plus you gotta be like.. skilled to use it anyway… gotta know which words to make bold.

  83. AnneMarie says:

    Internet precautions, it's just things my school does. Blocks myspace, facebook, game sites but surprisingly not Twitter. Stupid isn't it?

    Hahaha, hand in marriage. That is strange. How do you think of all this funny stuff? Hahahahahaha.

  84. Pam says:

    Umm.. It kinda made sense? LOL :S

    You're truly happy because you know that you're not because you'd go crazy or something if you was?

    I think I just made it worse, haha.

  85. Chynna says:

    Hey, just to say I've moved sites!
    Change your link please (:



  86. Ben says:

    Lol, I can sort of see what you mean but I think the whole thing probably means like taking your hand to guide you through life, to bring the person into your life. A very weird analogy but that's what I think it could mean.

  87. Chrys says:

    HAHAHHAHA. My dad always says that: "It ain't over till the fat lady sings". I always poke my mom and say, "Mommmmyyyy, I want it to be over, can you please sing?" She never thinks it's as funny as I do though. Hrm.

    Hahahahhaa. Essential body parts. Yes indeed.

    Oh you creepy, disgusting man! How can you fall in love with ALL of them. With me, it's JUST the toes. Jeez.
    Scotland was amazing fun πŸ™‚

  88. Kate says:

    Hey Justin πŸ™‚ Ohdazzle is back open!

    Sang at a wedding? Cool. Your probably a good singer otherwise you wouldnt've got the chance to sing at all >____<

    Yeah, I don't understand why they say hand, either.. Maybe because the ring goes on a finger which is attachted to your hand.. – Okay that was lame. It made no sense, but at least it makes better sense than asking for someones ass in marrige. Am I right?

  89. Felisa says:

    If you only ask for someone's hand in marriage, makes you wonder what's going to happen to the rest of them huh? I'd ask for someone's BRAIN because I think the brain is the sexiest thing about a person. But I'd love it if it could come with a human body. Because by itself, I might not even go near the brain.

    "Sir, I've fallen deeply in love with your daughter, and I'm asking for her ass in marriage."
    Hahahahahahaha I think I just peed. Just a little. πŸ˜›

  90. Laura says:

    It might have been on purpose but I'm not sure. Why invite me if she clearly didn't want me there though. Arghh people like her make me angryyy ¬¬. Awww thank you! I agree she is just annoying :)! So, how are you? How has your weekend been going :)?

  91. greg says:

    Sorry i havent contacted you in a while, but i have had loads to do!

    I have a new layout up! I hope you like it!

    Please comment back, From Greg!

  92. Kaela says:

    Haha, but yeah I suppose, but when you ask for the hand, it makes sense, because where does the ring go? on her hand! Well, finger, but just to ask for a finger? That is plain weird.

  93. kitty says:

    I guess they are asking for a hand to put a ring on? O_o but then they should be asking for a finger.. but you know once they ask for a finger then they take the whole hand, so they just go with the whole hand and that's it. O_O

  94. Meaghan! says:

    Haha yeah, when I put the layout up, I was playing with them for like 5 minutes haha.

    Thanks! Yeah, it's like 19 or something. But that's not fair cause I'm 5 years younger! D;

    Hahah. Ass in marriage? Oh jeez. You & your crazy ideas [:

  95. Jackie says:

    Man! My summer is GONE!! :[

    Last two week I have worked but I did take an impromptu trip to Canada to bungee jump again. That was fun. I leave for London NEXT Saturday! Ugh.

  96. Lani says:

    Justin!! Dude I missed you!! Ha, sorry… but I did.

    Hobscotch just sorta died… one day it went offline and never came back… I feel like I should ask for a divorce from it or something…

    Anyways, I'm back online and have decided to stalk you regardless of whether i have a site on which you can reply ^-^

    Also: how awkward would the wedding night be if he asked for her nose in marriage… mmm mucusy!

  97. Lillie says:

    HAHA. ASS IN MARRIAGE?. Sounds lovely <3 hehe.
    I think it's because the ring goes on the finger that's on the hand.
    But going on, the hand is on the arm that's on the shoulder thats on the body.

    O-O. I guess they just stopped at hand }: Lazy bums.

    (: Breast in marriage… LOLOL<3 OMG. *squeeze* O-O…

    & What Dove commercials have YOU been watching ): All I see is a naked woman showering.

  98. maryam says:

    pleaseeee lol, can you vote for me at
    http://www.sweetandsugary.info/contest/everyone.php ?

    thanks, if you doo hahaa πŸ˜‰

    i know this is random buttt er. i need a domain lol..

    wow. this layout is ahmazing btw.

  99. Christine says:

    Congrats on singing at the wedding! Did you have a fun time? I'm sure you did a great job.

    And is it weird that I can picture my boyfriend asking for my ass in marriage? If he wasn't scared of my Dad I think he'd love to say that!

  100. Sophie says:

    Sorry I haven't commented in so long! I had a break from my site. Hope we can still be affiliates!

    Because, if the boyfriend asked the girl's dad for her ass in marriage, the dad would kick the boyfriend's ass. Maybe, anyway.

  101. Mimi says:

    "Sir, I've fallen deeply in love with your daughter, and I'm asking for her ass in marriage."
    Hahahahaha, this is great. I wonder if anyone actually tried that before.

  102. Lani says:

    :DD Guess what I got back??

    Hobscotch is back up… hoorah!!

  103. Annabelle says:

    I think men ask women for their hand in marriage, because imagine how big and how much a diamond would be to make a ring for her thigh or waist. πŸ™‚
    Thanks for the comment. x

  104. greg says:

    yohhh affie(:
    new layout up, please check it outttt (H)
    from greg xx

    p.s loving the site, as usual!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


My name is Justin, and this website is devoted to my many hobbies. From writing and web development to theater and cosplay, I'm always up to something. I haven’t been myself ever since I was born.

Stay In Touch

Enjoy what you saw? You can follow me on social media if you feel like it. You can also stuff mashed potatoes up your nose if you feel like it.
© Copyright 2012 - 2017 Justin Hanks, All Rights Reserved.