A Friendly Game of Peek-a-Boo – Justin Hanks

A Friendly Game of Peek-a-Boo

Justin Hanks

When I was a kid, I did some really weird shit…

I liked to tie yarn around dolls’ necks, lynch them over our staircase, and leave them hanging for my mom to discover.

Sometimes I would turn off all the lights, scream “Mortal Kombat,” and whack my family with an inflatable bat.

One time I boobie-trapped our house because I was scared those talking M&M guys were coming to get me.

Every Friday, I would put on my mom’s high-heeled shoes and “perform” classic Madonna songs. Surprisingly, my mother never picked up that I was gay.

Looking back, one of my strangest childhood rituals was a game I created. The game was simple: every time I saw my dad, I had to make the goofiest face imaginable. Sometimes I’d squint my eyes. Other times, I’d pull on my ears. One time, I distinctly remember putting a Hot Wheels car in my mouth and spitting it at him.

I even provided sound effects, which often made me sound like a dying cat. My faces got so f***ed up that my eyes were eventually popping out like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Total Recall. At first, my dad was mortified, but eventually, he joined in on the fun. It was like playing peek-a-boo, but with all parties involved looking constipated.

My dad’s faces were NEVER as good as mine. Well, almost never. When I was four years old, he totally owned me. I remember it vividly; I popped out from behind my bed, delivering the craziest face I could muster. Without missing a beat, my father retaliated by falling to the floor, pouting up his lips, and rolling his eyes in the back of his head. Whoa… he had stepped up his game.

I fought back by pulling on my hair and making goat noises. But as my dad continued to flop around like a wounded pigeon, I admitted I was no match for his brilliance. I conceded and started laughing at him. He didn’t stop; opting to continue motorboating the air. Damn. How the hell was he making such an awesome face?

Well, it turns out he was having a seizure.

36 Responses

  1. Rachel says:

    Oh my goodness!! I assume the seizure was harmless and your dad was okay? I got seizure and stroke confused at first and I was extremely worried. D:

  2. Jen says:

    Oh gosh, that is really scary. How did you know that your Dad was actually having a seizure (and not doing the "sideways-macarena-dance"?) πŸ™‚

    I don't remember any of my weird or strange childhood rituals. All I can remember is that, I used to hide some of my cousin's things, then give it back to her when I got all the laughs that I need while watching her finding her thing (at an extreme point of anger) πŸ˜› I was pretty lame back then. πŸ˜›

  3. Mallory says:

    OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS?! About the end of this entry, I mean! Geez, that had to be pretty damn traumatising for both you and for your Dad, yikes.

    How did you find out he was having a seizure as opposed to just playing around …? Did someone else come into the room or what? Poor wee Justin! ;_;

  4. Aashni says:

    I've actually flown quite a lot – our family used to travel at least once a year since I was 6, and now I travel a lot myself back and forth from Uni, or Summer adventures. So getting double Wins isn't too hard πŸ˜› hehe I have two flights just to get to Uni πŸ™

    And jeez, way to make me feel better about the whole wrong island thing. I don't even know how that happened! I'm an intense researcher when it comes to stuff like this, i'll double and retriple check destinations, flights, times etc. I think it was coz the place I was going to is "Bali" and when you type that into the airport destination, "balikpapan, Indonesia" came up.. and ya. I don't know. The rest of my flights and trip went well πŸ™‚ Like my trip to singapore πŸ™‚ hehe

    Wow, I used to (and still sometimes) do things like make faces whenever I see my dad or sister.. When I see my mom I usually try to attack her fully on – apparently they had to brace themselves against a wall when I was younger! haha

    I'm sorry about your dad's seizure! I hope he's ok, and that it wasn't due to anything too dangerous!

  5. Jas says:

    Hahaaaaa I had many little games like that when I was younger. Sounds like fun! XD

  6. Jhase says:

    Wow, that was both awesome and not so awesome about the seizure. I don't think I have any real childhood games i played other than the usual generic ones. Now seriously, did you have to lynch the dolls? I mean they were only trying to make sure you stayed on the "straight" path. πŸ˜›

    By the way, I updated, so you can rest in peace YO. πŸ˜€

  7. Holly says:

    Boobie-trapping the house reminds me of the Home Alone movies haha. One weird thing I remember doing when I was a kid was turning my slide in the back garden into a time machine. I was convinced it would work!!

    I think that last comment you left on my website got deleted as spam. :'(

  8. Rachel H says:

    So funny because it's true lol I remember just laughing at dad for like ten minutes before realizing it was serious!! And the Arnold reference was creepy…Also the madonna performances still haunt me in my sleep. Love ya!!

  9. Clint says:

    You surely a fun kid when you're a little. I would really like to see you wearing your mom's high-heeled shoes and perform a classic Madonna song. Eeek!~

  10. Jenny says:

    Haha, I think we all did weird things as kids…I think I tried collecting my old chewing gum once, gross I know, but at least I never lynched my toys? Lol. The little game you and your dad had was cute, and I was smiling at the end…until you wrote that he was actually having a seizure. Yikes πŸ™

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