With the 2012 London Olympics underway, I can’t help but feel the spirit. Unlike other television broadcasts, the Olympics has me so pumped that I’m actively participating. In the past few days, I’ve found myself yelling at the TV screen, attempting to recreate the gymnastics routines (I almost broke a lamp), Googling all the countries […]
I’ve concluded that every New Years tradition originates from a lunatic. No joke. People do really bizarre shit when they celebrate. Here in America, we drink, make out, blow things up in the sky, and generate obnoxious noises with pots and pans. Perhaps worst of all, we watch a ball drop (which sounds like we’re […]
While browsing the Internet, I stumbled across a highly disturbing article about a Canadian company that offers pole dancing lessons to girls nine years of age and under. Blah. I blame Miley Cyrus. For those who don’t frequent strip clubs, pole dancing is what erotic dancers do in place of just going up on stage, […]
I’m freaking out right now. I can barely breathe. With 2010 upon us, there is a major cause for concern. No, I’m not talking about Doomsday predictions, terrorist attacks, or even global warming. This is worse. So what is it, you ask? Death. Well, at least death to the companies that produce novelty New Year’s […]
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