Rap music is dead. I used to love it, but the songs that come out these days sound like kittens dying of strangulation. The lyrics are blatantly uninspired, the vocals mimic malfunctioning robots, and the rhymes could be topped by five-year old children. But none of this trumps the bizarre background noises. To some rappers, […]
When I was a kid, a self-proclaimed health guru visited my school to teach about nutrition. During his presentation, he remarked, “You are what you eat.” I was mortified. As soon as I got home, I darted under my bed, sobbed like a three-year old girl and cried, “I don’t want to be a cheeseburger!” […]
What’s with our passion for abbreviations? And why is “abbreviations” such a long word? In my opinion, it’s rude to not spell out entire words. The only time I use chatspeak is when someone isn’t worth my time. For example, if I were going to write a breakup letter, it might look like this… Sup […]
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