06

I’m not the biggest fan of airplanes. For starters, I’m afraid of heights. I scream at the slightest hint of turbulence. I also find the cheap chairs to be cramped and uncomfortable. Above all else, I don’t enjoy sitting next to complete strangers who, with my luck, are frequently gassy.

If someone told me I could never board a plane again, I’d happily oblige. Goodbye and good riddance! I’m perfectly content with trains… or boats… or pimped-out golf carts with fire decals.

But I suppose that’s not the case for everybody.

Ten stewardesses at Air India are fighting for their right to soar the skies after being unexpectedly terminated from their positions. According to BBC News, the airlines stated that the women failed to meet company weight restrictions calculated by height and age. In layman’s terms, the women were deemed too fat to fly.

The stewardesses fought back, but unfortunately, they failed to get the policy declared unconstitutional by the Indian High Court. Talk about a heavy defeat!

Frankly, I’m appalled by the airline’s decision. Where do they get off saying someone is not of the right body type for a job that requires little to no physical exertion? I mean, it’s not like they’re building houses or running marathons. They only have one job: distribute overpriced peanuts.

Well, I suppose they have two jobs. They also have to slide those fancy blue curtains a few times to remind us common peasants that we’re not first class royalty.

But I digress. The fat shaming is an outrage. If we’re going to ban overweight people from having jobs that require movement, we should at least be consistent. Stop hiring pudgy mall cops!

But I don’t really support that either. We shouldn’t discriminate against anybody. I fail to see Air India’s logic. If a plane crashes, people are going to die regardless of whether they’re fat or not.

Hell, it might even be beneficial to have an obese person on board. In case of emergency, a one thousand pound carcass could be used as a flotation device.

Maybe the airline’s decision had nothing to do with efficiency? Maybe they just want their stewardesses to be hip and sexy? Well, if that’s the case, I object even more.

People of all shapes and sizes can be beautiful. We don’t need cliché super models running our flights. Most super models aren’t even well-versed in plane safety. The airline industry and the fashion industry couldn’t be more different. One involves a runway, and the other involves… shit.

I don’t know what else to say. I feel so bad for these women. Apparently, not all cows are sacred in India.