CHAINSAW: The Newest Weight Loss Revolution

Millions of people around the world are disappointed by their bodies. Desperate to drop a few pounds, they do more harm than good with fad diets and expensive surgeries. They care so much about how their bodies look on the outside, that they’re perfectly willing to destroy their bodies on the inside.

If you’re one of these people, then I’ve got the product for you!

Would you like to wear your new bathing suit at the beach with confidence? Would you like to get down to a size four for your sister’s no-fatties-allowed wedding? Would you like to enjoy amusement park rides from inside the cars?

Worry no more! Weight loss is now instant and requires little to no effort. The newest diet revolution has arrived. Introducing: CHAINSAW.

With CHAINSAW, all your problems are solved. Unlike other weight loss programs, the CHAINSAW program is easy and doesn’t require months of dedication. You will shed pounds in seconds!

After signing up for CHAINSAW, you’ll receive a package in the mail within 2-5 business days. Once received, take CHAINSAW out of the box and fire it up. Select the ON button, and simply apply CHAINSAW to any limb of your choosing (this part may get messy).

Once you’ve completed these simple steps, go to the nearest scale. Take your time and be careful not to slip on any red puddles of “excess pounds.” Remember, safety always comes first with CHAINSAW.

While weighing yourself, you’ll notice an instant difference. Hell, if you stand on the scale long enough, you may even witness the pounds plummeting before your very eyes!

The average limb weighs 10-25 pounds, and CHAINSAW uses a patented scientific procedure to drop that weight down to nothing.

So what’s the catch? How much does it cost for this miracle product? Well, sign up now and you’ll get the best rate in town. Most people are willing to give an arm and a leg for their dream body, and with CHAINSAW, that’s exactly what we’re asking for!

Call now! Cut off your food addiction. Shred that unwanted body fat. Sever your ties with depression.

CHAINSAW also doubles as a toothbrush.

Leave Comment

Jan 19 3:28 am

Weell, I dont know if I enjoy a few subjects that I study.
They are such a fuss. lols
Maybe I enjoy Maths caus I am good at it.
But the others, I all hate them!!
How about you? Any subjects that you enjoy?

Jan 18 10:17 pm

hahahahahahahaha! i love it. wonder how much weight would be gone if they sawed off a leg. man, that would be biggest loser status lol

Jan 18 9:41 pm

What a cute design ^.^

Jan 18 5:25 pm

Hahaha nice…
For another 10-12 lbs, go for your head.

Jan 18 12:02 pm

lmao well I am only 5ft 2ins and weigh about 98 pounds, plus I don't drink often, probably why I get drunk so quickly XD hehe.

Jan 18 10:53 am

haha nice.

yeah, and I dont wanna be a whore.

Justin R.
Jan 18 4:05 am

I've yet to see a chainsaw that gets "plugged in". They usually run on gasoline and have a pull cord to start it. 😛

Oh, and GROSS! lol

Jan 18 12:55 am

This entry reminds me of those pay per post blogs or the transcript of the shopping channel. I'm almost convinced. If I call now will you throw in a second chainsaw absolutely free?

Jan 18 12:44 am

LOL I do have an extra two arms that I barely use -hmm-
And in reply to your comment like ages ago (I was in Adelaide, which was fun… but depressingly pandaless >.>) I'm not implying something about you… I was implying something about DUMB Americans haha.

Jan 17 10:35 pm

Chainsaws are just electric scissors. :0

Jan 17 10:11 pm

this is funny.. LOL where did you get it?

Jan 17 10:05 pm

lol I understand what you mean 🙂

Jan 17 9:45 pm

Where can I buy some of that Chainsaw, I want to give it to one of my friends as a gift.


My name is Justin, and you've stumbled upon my home on the web. From writing and coding to theater and cosplay, I'm always up to something. I haven’t been myself ever since I was born.

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