CHAINSAW: The Newest Weight Loss Revolution

Millions of people around the world are disappointed by their bodies. Desperate to drop a few pounds, they do more harm than good with fad diets and expensive surgeries. They care so much about how their bodies look on the outside, that they’re perfectly willing to destroy their bodies on the inside.

If you’re one of these people, then I’ve got the product for you!

Would you like to wear your new bathing suit at the beach with confidence? Would you like to get down to a size four for your sister’s no-fatties-allowed wedding? Would you like to enjoy amusement park rides from inside the cars?

Worry no more! Weight loss is now instant and requires little to no effort. The newest diet revolution has arrived. Introducing: CHAINSAW.

With CHAINSAW, all your problems are solved. Unlike other weight loss programs, the CHAINSAW program is easy and doesn’t require months of dedication. You will shed pounds in seconds!

After signing up for CHAINSAW, you’ll receive a package in the mail within 2-5 business days. Once received, take CHAINSAW out of the box and fire it up. Select the ON button, and simply apply CHAINSAW to any limb of your choosing (this part may get messy).

Once you’ve completed these simple steps, go to the nearest scale. Take your time and be careful not to slip on any red puddles of “excess pounds.” Remember, safety always comes first with CHAINSAW.

While weighing yourself, you’ll notice an instant difference. Hell, if you stand on the scale long enough, you may even witness the pounds plummeting before your very eyes!

The average limb weighs 10-25 pounds, and CHAINSAW uses a patented scientific procedure to drop that weight down to nothing.

So what’s the catch? How much does it cost for this miracle product? Well, sign up now and you’ll get the best rate in town. Most people are willing to give an arm and a leg for their dream body, and with CHAINSAW, that’s exactly what we’re asking for!

Call now! Cut off your food addiction. Shred that unwanted body fat. Sever your ties with depression.

CHAINSAW also doubles as a toothbrush.

Leave Comment

Jan 15 11:20 am

Yeah, I think it is. I never liked it much either, it was too predictable. They always had to fix it.

I used to love Blue's Clues but it drove my mother crazy. I've now got the post song in my head. 'The post is here, the post is here….' I liked Barney, the teletubbies and playdays as well. I don't even remember some of them. πŸ™‚

Kids TV's getting really rubbish now. All the characters speak jibberish, it's silly.


Jan 15 11:05 am

Nothing really, my life is reallllllllllyyyyyyyy boring at the moment to the maaaaaaaaaaaaaxxxx lolz
What have you been doing??

Jan 15 10:55 am

Haha. Bob the Builder's taking over. Watch out.


Jan 15 10:33 am

omg. lol
i am fat, but hell nah if i am gonna do that. lol
reminds me of a scary movie where this girl wants to lose weight, the ghost/monster chops her arm off. haha

Jan 15 10:19 am

I think it was the real Bob the Builder. He's always trying to be educational is our Bob. Haha. πŸ™‚


Jan 15 9:23 am

Very funny. πŸ™‚ A bit of an insane way to lose weight, I'd rather stay the same weight than that. Lol. πŸ™‚

Chainsaws could also be used as the next razor: for the closest shave yet!!

Jan 15 7:25 am

haha wow, I seriously love reading your blogs they alwasy crack me up haha XD.

and thats cool I was in some plays when I was in elementary school, but when I got older none of my school had drama classes and I was too lazy to go out and find a drama club of some sort.

But I love to sing too. My mom says Im good, but I think she's just saying that cause she's my mom. haha xD

Jan 15 7:18 am

If it looks better that would be a good thing duh!! πŸ™‚

Jan 15 6:23 am

Lol yeah, I liked the colours πŸ˜€ Thanks!

Hehe, I just need to think of how to make them, i'll just have to practise πŸ˜€

LMFAO @ your blog! I just read your blog out to my sister, and she thought 'chainsaw' was really a weight loss thing LOL. shes dumb πŸ™‚

Jan 15 6:17 am

Kick him. Until he dies. Lol joking.

I love your bloggg πŸ˜€ I remember about my friend that joined a diet program, I've tell you that I guess. O yeah that girl is the same girl that has BlackBerry CURVE too.

Jan 15 6:01 am

The icon is all over the place, but I got it on an Xanga site πŸ™‚

I love pink panther. Especially when he attempts to say hamburger πŸ˜€

This blog is so funny! I hate people who are so obsessed with their weight when they are skinny though, especially when they only do it for attention -_- I really must suggest this method of weight loss though πŸ˜›


Jan 15 5:54 am

Thanks thanks <3
I have got to try the chainsaw on myself lol hahahaha
Hilarious…. lols
I always love to read your blogs…
you made my day πŸ˜€

Jan 15 5:30 am

No, I meant the idea. LOL xD

Jan 15 5:27 am

You still wouldn't be able to go to the beach cause your wouldn't have much skin on your arms you'd be asked to leave for indecent exposure.

BTW I forgive you but be nicer to me! πŸ™‚

Jan 15 4:11 am


Where the hell did you pick this from? It's hilarious! Goes well for the overly diet-obsessed people. xD


My name is Justin, and you've stumbled upon my home on the web. From writing and coding to theater and cosplay, I'm always up to something. I haven’t been myself ever since I was born.

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