The Early Bird Gets The Worm

They say that the early bird gets the worm. I don’t know whoย they are, but in my humble opinion, they should mind their own business. I mean, who started this stupid rumor? Was it the birds? If so, I hope they get bird flu.

I completely disagree with this idiom. It implies that people who wake up early, or accomplish things first, will reap all the benefits. That’s bullshit. It’s not advantageous to be the first one up in the morning. Just ask the worm.

The expression is an unfair buzzkill. It assumes that all birds have an equal chance of being up at the crack of dawn, when, in actuality, some birds face additional hardships. For example, there are poverty-stricken birds that can’t afford alarm clocks. They are stuck on bird-feed stamps. They live in cardboard nests.

And on the other end of the spectrum, you’ve got birds with the upper wing. Roosters are always up early. That’s kind of their thing.

In all seriousness, not everyone is a morning person. Some people thrive at night. We shouldn’t have to follow any set schedule. We can accomplish greatness whenever we want.

I don’t want to live in a world where I can only be successful if I wake up at the buttcrack of dawn. I’m always late to everything, and life would never go my way. I’d probably end up with the shittiest job ever. I don’t even know what that would be. It’d probably be some super sketch third-shift job at a nuclear testing facility scrubbing poop off of radioactive toilets. So yes, shitty indeed.

And worst of all, I’d be a loser. I wouldn’t make a name for myself. No one would know my name. They’d call me Hell. They’d call me Stacey. That’s not my name. That’s not my name.

All of this because of a stupid expression about a stupid bird. Sigh. I guess I’ll get over it. It’s not worth the trouble. The early bird can keep his damn worm. I don’t want to eat a nasty ass invertebrate anyway. Call me crazy, but I believe that sleeping-in and having a mediocre existence sounds much better than chomping down on a squirmy, nasty bug.

Unless the worm is gummy.

Leave Comment

Feb 08 10:17 am

Hey there!
I love your site
It's so inspiring. ๐Ÿ˜€
Keep it up ๐Ÿ™‚

Feb 08 9:52 am

Amen to that! Here's to living a mediocre life and not chomping down on those icky bugs!

Procrastination for life!

Feb 08 8:58 am

lol, i am SO not an early bird. i can't function before 8:00am – or i can't function WELL anyways. before 8, i'm a cranky bitch. haha.

Feb 08 8:42 am

I saw Quidam in person~ The only cirque show ive seen on television was Alegria. Seeing it on TV ruins it for me Live. Saltimbanco was seen in person. Seeing La Nouba, Kooza, and Wintuk later this year~


Feb 08 6:03 am

Yeah, our snow wasn't lumpy.. it was just… ice? Then a thin layer of snow that stuck to your gloves which was good because I didn't get hit with snowballs. I got hit with an ice ball instead though which was worse!

Feb 08 6:03 am

well then screw the stores. lol. so, how are you?

Feb 08 5:41 am

Haha, yurr, bromo is going to be awesome! I'm a bit worried about the hiking though, my knee has really been acting up ๐Ÿ™

How are you?


Feb 08 5:20 am

It didn't scare you right? 8D
which stage that frighten you so much?

Feb 07 7:49 pm

nice layout.. good job keep it up

Feb 07 7:45 pm

hahaha yeayy! tell me if you're done ๐Ÿ˜€ hahaha lol. btu i guess it won't scare you.

Feb 07 7:37 pm

you can view the new layout here:

i had no idea how to make my drawing a layout so yeahh. o_o.

Feb 07 7:14 pm

Oh my gawshh. Youre OTT ๐Ÿ˜› (overthetop)
I can't think of any jokes ๐Ÿ™

Feb 07 7:04 pm

Wow really? It's totally a Justin joke.
The late mouse gets the cheese

Feb 07 7:02 pm

whoa. the stores here ran out of indian months ago! you are so lucky!

Feb 07 6:59 pm

Luls. Well, I didn't know what to say, mine was a follow-on joke about our discussion about the girl that poked the other girl in the eye.. etc etc.
Thats why I didn't know what to say xD


My name is Justin, and you've stumbled upon my home on the web. From writing and coding to theater and cosplay, I'm always up to something. I havenโ€™t been myself ever since I was born.

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