The Early Bird Gets The Worm

They say that the early bird gets the worm. I don’t know whoย they are, but in my humble opinion, they should mind their own business. I mean, who started this stupid rumor? Was it the birds? If so, I hope they get bird flu.

I completely disagree with this idiom. It implies that people who wake up early, or accomplish things first, will reap all the benefits. That’s bullshit. It’s not advantageous to be the first one up in the morning. Just ask the worm.

The expression is an unfair buzzkill. It assumes that all birds have an equal chance of being up at the crack of dawn, when, in actuality, some birds face additional hardships. For example, there are poverty-stricken birds that can’t afford alarm clocks. They are stuck on bird-feed stamps. They live in cardboard nests.

And on the other end of the spectrum, you’ve got birds with the upper wing. Roosters are always up early. That’s kind of their thing.

In all seriousness, not everyone is a morning person. Some people thrive at night. We shouldn’t have to follow any set schedule. We can accomplish greatness whenever we want.

I don’t want to live in a world where I can only be successful if I wake up at the buttcrack of dawn. I’m always late to everything, and life would never go my way. I’d probably end up with the shittiest job ever. I don’t even know what that would be. It’d probably be some super sketch third-shift job at a nuclear testing facility scrubbing poop off of radioactive toilets. So yes, shitty indeed.

And worst of all, I’d be a loser. I wouldn’t make a name for myself. No one would know my name. They’d call me Hell. They’d call me Stacey. That’s not my name. That’s not my name.

All of this because of a stupid expression about a stupid bird. Sigh. I guess I’ll get over it. It’s not worth the trouble. The early bird can keep his damn worm. I don’t want to eat a nasty ass invertebrate anyway. Call me crazy, but I believe that sleeping-in and having a mediocre existence sounds much better than chomping down on a squirmy, nasty bug.

Unless the worm is gummy.

Leave Comment

Feb 12 4:18 am

I feel sorry for the birds that don't eat worms. Early penguin catches the krill just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Feb 11 8:14 pm

Eww alarm clocks! Waking up early stinks. ๐Ÿ™

Feb 11 7:54 am

I'm definitely not a morning person. I'm not really human before noon and I'm at my best somewhere between 10 PM and 3 AM. So screw that bird that's all goodie goodie and gets up early. I'll eat that for lunch once I finally get out of bed.

Feb 10 4:51 pm

im back! xD lol

Feb 10 1:22 pm

ha thats so funny.

Feb 10 11:27 am

If you are a 'poor bird' who lives in a carsboard and can't afford an alarm clock, you should just open your cardboard window and allow those filthy birds that sing at 4 fucking am to wake you up. V_V

Feb 10 10:12 am

Pffft, don't get mad that the bird's better than you at waking up. ๐Ÿ˜›

Feb 09 6:38 pm

LOL @ Bird Feed Stamps! "It's the first of the moooooooonth!" – Bone, Thugs-N-Harmony

If life's accomplishments were measured by how early one wakes up, I'd be a total failure. I mean, I wake up relatively early *now* — but left to my own devices, anything followed by an "AM" is simply killer!

Feb 09 4:05 pm

Aha, I'm never early either, I wake up nice and late whenever I can, but of course, I get in a ton of trouble for it by the parents >_>

Feb 09 4:03 pm

Well, if you're going to get technical on me …No, you're right though ๐Ÿ™‚

Hmm, birds keep waking me up on my days off and weekends. Chirping outside my window for half an hour. Maybe there should be a whole day of procrastination once a week or something ๐Ÿ˜‰

Feb 09 3:42 pm

LOL that poor bird, you're wishing him ill. *shakes finger*

meh, I am also a procrastinator. ๐Ÿ˜€ *high fives* I just can't be bothered with so many things in life. But I guess of you try your best and all those other cliches that aren't coming to my mind at the moment, you can be successful in life. (:

What are you talking about you don't eat worms? Nonsense.

Feb 09 3:15 pm

I think that as long as you make the most of your time then you will be successful. Some people do night shifts, some people do day shifts and both can be equally successful.

Feb 09 2:45 pm

Yea, I bet you were, huh? ;]

Feb 09 5:59 am

Haha yeah! Or I could just learn how to fly and fly up the mountain.. I don't think flying requires good knee movement ๐Ÿ™‚

Had any sledding incidents recently? ๐Ÿ˜‰


Feb 09 4:51 am

Lol haha!
I did not think about that. haha. I am pretty dum you know!!
Anyways, how is your week? Having a great time?


My name is Justin, and you've stumbled upon my home on the web. From writing and coding to theater and cosplay, I'm always up to something. I havenโ€™t been myself ever since I was born.

Stay In Touch

Enjoy what you've seen? Feel free to follow me on social media! I'm so thankful to live in a time where we can use social media instead of social skills.
© Copyright 2012 - 2020 Justin Hanks , All Rights Reserved.