Let’s do a thought experiment. Imagine it’s a beautiful Saturday morning. You just woke up and hopped out of bed. You’re a little groggy, but since you got to sleep in, you’re generally feeling fantastic. You slide on your Hello Kitty slippers, swallow your pride, and exit the bedroom.
You make your way to the kitchen for breakfast, humming an obnoxious little tune. Grabbing a box of cereal, you sing to yourself, “Oppa Gangnam Style.” But as you take a seat at the table, you realize there’s nothing to read. Remembering that the local newspaper is waiting for you on your doorstep, you jump up and venture to the front door. You journey into the driveway, but suddenly, to your surprise, you notice two pipe bombs in the front lawn. What do you do?
No matter what you say, I guarantee it’s more sensible than what actually happened. Yes, in Hempstead, New York, a bus driver faced this exact dilemma and made the absolute worst decision imaginable. Instead of waiting for help, she chose to personally deliver the bombs to police.
Sources say the woman wrapped the devices in blankets, tossed them in her empty school bus, and headed to the nearest police station. Along the way, she contacted authorities via cellphone and shouted, “I have a school bus filled with explosives!”
I wonder if the bus driver knows how stupid she is? I mean, do idiots have the brain capacity to recognize that they don’t have the brain capacity?
I guarantee this isn’t the first stupid thing she’s done. Surely there were signs. Like, I bet she doesn’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re.” I bet she types everything in Caps Lock. I bet she likes an Adam Sandler movie from the past five years.
Somebody probably put those pipe bombs on her lawn to kill her and make the world a better place.
I admire her bravery, though. If I were eye-to-eye with a deadly explosive, I’d scream at the top of my lungs, dive in the opposite direction, and crawl under a car or something. I wouldn’t try to wrap the bomb in a warm fleece blanket.
Yes, she basically tucked it in like a little baby. Did she think she could prevent it from igniting if it took a little nappy-poo?
Honestly, if she can’t tell the difference between a child and a bomb, should she really be trusted with an entire school bus full of children? She was five minutes away from putting a diaper on it. And hell, a diaper might have made more sense. At least diapers can handle some explosions.
And after all this nonsense, the woman was not arrested. They let her slide, because she had good intentions. She did, however, lose her job. Although she is probably devastated, she shouldn’t be. She has other employment opportunities on the way…
Next year you will see her on the big screen with Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock, trying to keep their bus above 50 miles per hour.