Bada Bop Ba Ba… I’m Lovin’ Shit

In the mood for a classy date, my boyfriend and I headed to McDonalds. I know, I know. Nothing says romance like screaming kids, greasy food, and a perverted clown who’s lovin’ it. But trust me, we were having a great time.

Love was in the air — A love so strong that it almost overpowered the smell of french fries and obese children. Almost. As we ate our food, we smiled and laughed. We were having a happy meal. Not even the Hamburglar could have robbed us of our bliss.

But then something happened — something tragic — something disturbing, nauseating, and surprisingly, a tad bit amusing. It happened while we were seated in one of those painful, cheap plastic bench-table hybrids.

Let me set the scene. My boyfriend was jabbering about the latest Britney Spears gossip, and I was scanning the backside of my paper placemat; which, by the way, now has nutritious facts instead of a coloring sheet. Hmph.

We were suddenly interrupted by a loud noise from the side entrance. The door flung open, revealing a fat, hairy man with no shirt on. The man exhaled a few grunts and sprinted past our table; his arm fat flailing through the air.

As he dashed towards the restroom, his heavy footsteps thudded against the “linoleum.” With each step, his pants fell a few centimeters lower. I looked up just in time to see his lovely ass crack.

Once he was in the bathroom, the two of us looked at each other and spontaneously broke into laughter. What the hell just happened? Picking up the conversation, my boyfriend joked, “I wonder if he crapped his pants.”

I smiled at his remark and began to look around the room; hoping to see funny reactions from other people who had witnessed the spectacle.

Unfortunately, something else caught my attention. I noticed something on the ground. After leaning in and getting a good whiff, I realized it was a turd. Well, it was more like a river of poo leading to the bathroom.

In horror, I pointed at the brown ickyness, let out a whispered-shriek, and then, in a high-pitched valley girl voice, I wailed, “HE DID!!!!!”

At this McDonald’s, we did not put a smile on.

Leave Comment


  • Chrys
    Jun 19, 2009 1:13 pm

    Sorry, I know I've been gone forever but I'm finally back. I didn't have internet connection till now.

    I swear you should write a book or something… Hahaha, the way you set the scene, -phew- lol.

    How dare they replace the colouring page with nutritional facts.. then again in HK they never had a colouring page to begin with, so be happy you ever had one.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. Oh my lord. I think I would have peed a little… hehehe… 😀

    And sorry, I can't find an RSS feed for my blogs. I'm just that dumb. Maybe I don't have one? I dunno… I should. Hrm, I'll try and find out how to find it but I'm not making any promises.

  • Julianne
    Jun 19, 2009 4:31 am

    The guess the movie was too hard, nobody got it lol so I just put a new one up! I also bought a new domain so I'm happy today!

  • Lillie
    Jun 18, 2009 9:35 pm

    This is better then the time my friend told me that all guys have tried to give themselves a blowjob.
    *Stares and giggles* ^_____^

  • Jared
    Jun 18, 2009 4:55 pm

    that is very discusting!!
    well could you plase change my link on the buddies:) i got a new site!!


  • Ashley
    Jun 18, 2009 2:12 pm

    That's so freaking disgusting!!

    Btw, I think it's good that they are finally publishing their food's "nutritional facts". I'd much rather know how many calories and grams of fat I'm ingesting that some coloring space or whatever.

  • Ben
    Jun 18, 2009 11:17 am

    Yuck! That is just disgusting and I am glad I didn't see that.
    Here's hoping it hasn't left you mentally scarred! o;

  • lucy
    Jun 18, 2009 2:34 am

    i tagged you , sorry 🙂
    (mine will be up later if you see this before i put it on)
    also i got a new twitter.

  • Thurr
    Jun 17, 2009 11:08 pm

    The thing about this blog that saddens me extremely is the fact that the coloring area on the paper placement is GONE. :((

    I wonder where that fat dude came from and how long he's been holding his crap in.

  • Felicia
    Jun 17, 2009 10:26 pm

    Holy CRAP.

  • Nikki
    Jun 17, 2009 1:55 pm

    LOOOOL!!!!! Hahaha, that must have been one scary and messed up 'what the fuck' moment. Haha. I wonder what was wrong with the fat hairy guy, not everyday that happens you know. But seriously that was just too funny xD

  • Pam
    Jun 17, 2009 10:01 am

    Lmao! Ewww! I was about to go eat dinner when I read that, not anymore! Don't think I'll eat anything for the rest of the day, LOL. I'm glad I didn't have to go in the bathroom after him! Sheesh.

  • Shellz
    Jun 17, 2009 6:57 am

    Wtf, you saw poop on the floor? Ugh…. I think I've lost my appetite for the entire day. lol

    And that man sounded gross. O.o

  • Joanna
    Jun 16, 2009 3:30 pm

    That is an awesome WTF moment! It's disturbing though, that guy sounds totally creepy!

  • Tehya
    Jun 16, 2009 3:27 pm

    What a beautiful moment. I bet his Momma is so proud of him..

  • Spencer
    Jun 16, 2009 8:29 am

    Hello. I wanted to apologize for being off the internet scene for a bit. But, now it's Summer and I'm back.

    This is also an affiliate check – thank you for keeping my link up 🙂

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    My name is Justin, and you've stumbled upon my home on the web. From writing and coding to theater and cosplay, I'm always up to something. I haven’t been myself ever since I was born.

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