The Truth In Advertising

The marketing industry has its fair share of bullshit. From “Do-Nothing” infomercials to self-proclaimed “Gurus,” businesses are always plotting to beat you up and take your lunch money.

Well personally, I think it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee. If people are begging you for cash, they clearly don’t know how to get rich fast.

And while we’re at it, there’s no such thing as getting a free iPhone. If time is money, then 50 billion hours of online surveys is not free.

Yes, I’ll concede that there’s some truth in advertising. Hell, I’ll even say that pharmaceutical commercials are too honest. I mean, have you ever even see those commercials? They start off okay with a breezy montage of people who now have something to live for, but then you’re suddenly socked with a full list of cautions…

“RELAXOFT may cause nose bleeds, baldness, memory loss, swollen ankles, facial boils, excessive earwax, uncontrollable cursing, an urge to play in the mud, road-rage, snoring while awake, lying under oath, atheism, and a desire to spit at small pets.”

Well shit. Next time, I think I’ll just take the headache.

And all of these unintended side-effects make for some bizarre interactions. Like, if I wake up one morning feeling sick, and my significant other tries to give me medicine, should I fight him? Should I slap it out of his hand? Like, the medicine probably caused the sickness in the first place. It certainly won’t make me pill better.

And yes, while I gave pharmaceutical commercials credit for being somewhat honest, they’re not entirely off the hook. In many other ways, they’re just as confusing and misleading. For instance, they’re usually featuring scenes that have absolutely nothing to do with the product.

Vagisil commercials have girls doing cheerleading routines. Male enhancement commercials have guys playing golf. Every herpes commercials can be summed up as: “I have herpes.” “I don’t.” “Let’s ride bicycles.”

When it comes to medication, I don’t pay much attention to the advertisements. It’s best to let the doctors decide what’s right for me. They usually know what they’re talking about. Well, emphasis on usually. I once had a doctor whose office plants were always dead. I couldn’t help but wonder if I could trust him with myย life.

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Jun 26 4:41 am

haha i know, its funny what the crowd comes up with, you know when the twin robots call that guy (from the dorm) "pussy" (only seen it once cant remember the names of them all) everyone cracked up laughing, i laughed so hard i snorted. i rarely do that, everyone started laughing at that then.

Jun 26 4:32 am

LOL! You crack me up! ๐Ÿ™‚

Thanks, I needed that after all that's happened today. Thanks for the comment.

I just read your bio. Interesting! Dang, why do you have to g*y? I like you! Hahaha

Oh well. Thanks again for dropping by ๐Ÿ™‚

Jun 26 4:24 am

LOL! Good post! I love have a love/hate thing for infomercials. I hate to see the bs they advertise, but I love to make fun of them. I definitely don't buy into that get rich quick schemes, especially those "buy cheap a cheap house" commercial. I wonder how much those actors get paid to do those commercials? As far as medicine being advertised, I look past it. There's always a damn side effect. And who would trust a doctor with dead flowers in their office lol

Jun 26 3:58 am

lmao i clicked to leave a comment and i didn't realize that it was in a popup so i thought it wasn't working. *smacks head*

anyway thanks so much for the long comment. Yea yesterday wasnt brilliant but after we had dinner it was good. I agree about transformers completely though. It wasn't as good as the first one, it was too sudden at the start, and that decepticon at the start was fucking overkill. way to big.

I love everything to do with bumblebee, especially when he was crying, i nearly started crying myself.

Jun 26 3:34 am

Haha yay I love long comments :D. I would LOVEEEE to be affies:). I will add your link just now and add you to the affies page soon hehe :).

Jun 26 3:06 am

Haha, that would make me feel special :P. Thank you :). Awww thank you.

It is really sad. Your a dancer? Wow that's impressive :). He is truly a loss to the music world. I suppose difference people's deaths will affect us all in different ways. I suppose his will have a fairly big impact given that he was so famous and his music was so well known. I remember telling my Dad last night after reading it online and he didn't believe me until he had checked the news channels himself. It was a big shock

Arghhhh what is it with products that cause all of these nasty side effects. I agree, sometimes the effects are worse than the thing you're trying to get rid of in th first place. Yeah, I can imagine that being a good excuse for not going to school. Going in the next day and telling your teachers you were absent due to your medicine.

If the commercials aren't totally unrelated then they are so ordinary people cannot understand them. They talk in this very confusing manner so anyone without some sort of Honours degree in biology cannot understand them!

His plants were dead :|? I wouldn't have trusted him :|. My doctor is quite good although because he isn't a very young doctor his typing is not brilliant and I always want to giggle when I see him typing up stuff with one finger *gigles*.

Jun 26 2:26 am

oh emm gee. I completely agree with your blog.
I mean, why sell products that have HORRIBLE side affects? : Dumb asses. That herpes advert that your talking about (i've never seen it) but it reminded be of something that happened to me once.
I was walking home with my brother and my friend, and they were talking about herpes. And then they kept saying I had it, even though my coldsore wasn't a coldsore. And this guy walks pass, and I yelled out "I DON'T HAVE HERPES!" I flushed tomato red when the guy started cracking up laughing P:

Sure, i'd love to be affiliates, i'll add you now ^^

Jun 26 12:46 am

Sure, we can be affiliates! I'll add your link.

I always laugh at those sort of adverts ๐Ÿ™‚ I haven't seen the ones you mentioned, but there's a few for heartburn relief or something and in on a woman is an air traffic controller (I think) and in another a bloke is driving a Formula 1 car or something. They both get heartburn and start clutching at their chests, it's hilarious. But honestly, how many people drive racecars for a living?

Jun 26 12:07 am

Woot! I'm adding your link hopefully by the end of tomorrow(:

Oh…because my layout only works if you're using IE…and I was just wondering. ๐Ÿ˜€ So you're right now using Firefox or something?

Jun 25 11:37 pm

Lol, that's so true about infomercials, that's why I hate them.

Cools, you're a dancer? That's awesome! It is really sad that he's died…. I'm still in shock because he's made such a huge impact in everyone's life. I always pictured him dying when I was in my 30's or something, not even close yet.

I'd be interested in being affiliates if you filled out the form I have on my site. ^^ I like to keep that part of my site a bit professional. So if you don't mind, could you fill out the application? ^^

Jun 25 10:33 pm

LOL I have never seen the commercials you mentioned in this once-again hilarious blog. >.<

I don't think, I know. Haha, thanks.

Thank-youu again! xD
…do you use IE?

Haa, that was an unexpected question.
Of course I would! ๐Ÿ˜€

Jun 25 10:03 pm

of course we can exchange links — i just got you up already. :] yaaa.

thanks for thinking i'm more graceful than the soldier boy, whoever that is. i was never really into that song so pshhht to him!

Jun 25 9:55 pm

You stole the words right out of my mouth honey. haha. My favorite has always been the Herpes ones too. So funny. I love you. I really have nothing left to say other than that. I have ran out of words…damn you. haha

Jun 25 10:29 am

LMAO! I hate those commericals especially the herpes one. The one that has herpes looks way too happy to have it and the one who doesn't looks like they're thinking "fuck this bitch is nasty!" I hate how they're sexist too, they ALWAYS make the woman have it. What kind of shit is that?!

Jun 25 10:10 am

lmfao, side effects ๐Ÿ™‚
Your doctor seems to be a good caretaker *nugdenugde* He'll save you from the medicines :o.
And give you shots ^^;


My name is Justin, and you've stumbled upon my home on the web. From writing and coding to theater and cosplay, I'm always up to something. I havenโ€™t been myself ever since I was born.

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