The Truth In Advertising

The marketing industry has its fair share of bullshit. From “Do-Nothing” infomercials to self-proclaimed “Gurus,” businesses are always plotting to beat you up and take your lunch money.

Well personally, I think it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee. If people are begging you for cash, they clearly don’t know how to get rich fast.

And while we’re at it, there’s no such thing as getting a free iPhone. If time is money, then 50 billion hours of online surveys is not free.

Yes, I’ll concede that there’s some truth in advertising. Hell, I’ll even say that pharmaceutical commercials are too honest. I mean, have you ever even see those commercials? They start off okay with a breezy montage of people who now have something to live for, but then you’re suddenly socked with a full list of cautions…

“RELAXOFT may cause nose bleeds, baldness, memory loss, swollen ankles, facial boils, excessive earwax, uncontrollable cursing, an urge to play in the mud, road-rage, snoring while awake, lying under oath, atheism, and a desire to spit at small pets.”

Well shit. Next time, I think I’ll just take the headache.

And all of these unintended side-effects make for some bizarre interactions. Like, if I wake up one morning feeling sick, and my significant other tries to give me medicine, should I fight him? Should I slap it out of his hand? Like, the medicine probably caused the sickness in the first place. It certainly won’t make me pill better.

And yes, while I gave pharmaceutical commercials credit for being somewhat honest, they’re not entirely off the hook. In many other ways, they’re just as confusing and misleading. For instance, they’re usually featuring scenes that have absolutely nothing to do with the product.

Vagisil commercials have girls doing cheerleading routines. Male enhancement commercials have guys playing golf. Every herpes commercials can be summed up as: “I have herpes.” “I don’t.” “Let’s ride bicycles.”

When it comes to medication, I don’t pay much attention to the advertisements. It’s best to let the doctors decide what’s right for me. They usually know what they’re talking about. Well, emphasis on usually. I once had a doctor whose office plants were always dead. I couldn’t help but wonder if I could trust him with myย life.

Leave Comment

Jun 27 9:00 pm

yea I know right? But yes I'm still alive. And I did it again today/tonight for like 7 hours.

Jun 27 8:29 pm

WOW. Your using CUTENEWS?? That's amazing how you can decorate it this well. xD

You no steal Miranda's b-day cake.
Miranda's b-day cake, for me eat.
You no EAT!!!!!

Ahhh, lmfao. But really; you can't have a slice, haha.

Jun 27 8:24 pm

Oh and I have added you to my affiliates, thanks for accepting ๐Ÿ˜€

Jun 27 8:23 pm

Wow, four math classes! Well good luck on all of them ๐Ÿ™‚
I guess PE isn't so bad, it's sometimes a nice break from other boring classes but I don't really like it.

Yeah I have fairly long hair. Used to have shorter hair but I find I look much better with longer hair because I also have a big head.

Really, you volunteer at nursing homes? That's so cool! Yeah, old people are the nicest. I mean I can see that the ones I'm around are sometimes not so nice to each other, I guess I can see their faults. But they are really nice! ๐Ÿ˜€

Frou Frou was really good, but I am still a huge Imogen Heap fan. I love all her music so much, I can't wait to get her new album and I also want her first one.

OH MY GOD! That is SO weird. I used to be obsessed with Missy Elliott. Well maybe not quite obsessed but I loved her so much and I still do except now I know about a lot more music. Same here, I pretty much have all of Pass That Dutch and Teary Eyed memorized as well as some of her other songs. Her songs are really amazing, and she's way more than just another black female rapper, that's for sure.

Jun 27 7:52 pm

man, you sure are right. advertising can be too honest. especially those facial ones. if you look more closely, in the little corner, you can see "results may vary"
hmmm…not really convincing.

man, MJ's death really took a huge toll on people. and he was planning on a tour too! which sucks. we just lost a big chunk of history right there.

Jun 27 7:44 pm

this made me laugh outloud like 5 times..
and my whole family is like asleep and dead downstairs..
so now

ya my mom just came upstairs wondering why I was laughing..
look what you got me into! lmao!

and yeahhh lady gaga was pretty impressive..
i watched her on youtube because i'm stupid and missed her performace because i needed to get water from downstairs ?

i know my life sucks..

and next time i'm watching informercials..
i'll be thinking of this blog LOL

Jun 27 7:11 pm

Although the fact that he's done it before, and now he's doing it again, just proves that he hasn't learned his lesson and he probably won't until people stop giving him attention, whether its negative or positive.

Jun 27 6:47 pm

naaaaaaaaaw. thanks ๐Ÿ™‚ <3
(you too, when that time comes xp)

Jun 27 6:42 pm

Ahhh.. stupid me >.<
but have to go to bed and sleep now. talk to you tomorrow. oki? ๐Ÿ™‚


Jun 27 6:35 pm

Test #2

Jun 27 6:33 pm

okie dokie! Thanks!

Jun 27 5:40 pm

you said: "Not much here. My boyfriend’s at work and I’m stuck at his house… bored out of my mind! I might see the Proposal tomorrow, so I’m excited about that."

I'm confused :s
nothing muc, returning comments ๐Ÿ™‚ <3

Jun 27 5:30 pm

why thank you! I was pretty scared to go on it, but it looked pretty cool and everyone said that it wasnt that scary;

sure! I'll add you to thee group! (:

Jun 27 5:03 pm

yeah, offcourse I am. I'm a awesome host (hh)

nice ๐Ÿ˜€

Jun 27 4:49 pm

Yeah except I'm not looking too cute lol


My name is Justin, and you've stumbled upon my home on the web. From writing and coding to theater and cosplay, I'm always up to something. I havenโ€™t been myself ever since I was born.

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