A Rant of Biblical Proportions

I’m not the most religious person in the world, but I know the basics. I know that I should love my neighbors, and I know that I should love my enemies (strangely, these are the same people).

That’s about it. My mother always pressured me to dig deeper into Christianity. She promised it’d scare the hell out of me.

I tried, but it just wasn’t my cup of tea. Now there’s only one occasion in which I encounter the Bible. And no, it’s not church (that’d be too obvious). I’m talking, of course, about vacations.

I don’t get why in God’s name (ha) they put bibles in the drawers of hotel rooms. It’s weird to me. But I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ve come up with two conclusions…

#1. Hotel chains are trying to scare us. They’re trying to guilt us with good morals; figuring we’ll think twice before stealing their crummy towels, soaps, pens, shampoos, sheets, pillows, televisions, beds, windows, or even employees.

But to be honest, it doesn’t work. I’ve snatched a few accessories. Everyone has (it’s in the official travel guidebook that I haven’t written yet). Besides, most people that check into motel rooms are already committed to doing something naughty.

#2. It’s all about the money. Religious organizations are secretly in cahoots with hotels in order to turn a profit. My reasoning is that God doesn’t pay priests until the afterlife, so they must take up a second job selling bibles or running a motel.

No longer will they accept donations in those smelly, straw hats. Get ready, because soon we’ll be checking into hotels like Saint Hyatt and Our Lady of Hilton.

Anyway, regardless of the true motive, the whole thing is still off. It doesn’t seem politically correct. What about the other religious books? Where are the Torahs? or the Qurans? or the official travel guidebooks that I still haven’t written yet?

I suppose there are bigger issues in the world. I mean, for the past century, the United States has been busy trying to solve grand-scale religious conflicts. With separation of church and state and separation of church and school, there’s not really much time left for separation of church and bedside table.

Leave Comment


  • Allie
    Jul 04, 2009 6:38 pm

    Hey, I've been good. πŸ™‚ The weather was actually pretty nice today. I thought it would rain again. xD

  • Fia
    Jul 04, 2009 4:40 pm

    LMAO. I have nothing against Bibles in hotel drawers, but of course, the management should put into consideration that not everyone who checks in are Christians.

  • Mandie
    Jul 04, 2009 3:34 am

    would you still like your site reviewed by mine?

  • AnneMarie
    Jul 03, 2009 11:37 pm

    No I'm not back yet, but I have brought my laptop and check on the site and the comments when I can… which as you may see isn't very often.

    I'm a pretty stricct Catholic but I too always wondered why Bibles were put into the drawers of hotels. I use to think, people forget them… but then I realized.. the maids would have taken them out, so I have no idea.

  • Lee
    Jul 03, 2009 9:47 pm

    Lol, can they really hack you with CuteNews? I tried it once and they kept warning me about it.
    I'm busy with homework… how about you?

  • thuyy
    Jul 03, 2009 9:06 pm

    D: NOOO….
    Er…nevermind, haha! I know what they are. phew, 2012 isn't my fault. haha….eh..

  • graciesdesigns
    Jul 03, 2009 6:21 pm

    The country is getting to politically corrected as it is…leave the Bibles alone! LOL! Nice blog!

  • Kyah
    Jul 03, 2009 4:47 pm

    Hahaha, nice blog. I agree with it.

    One time my mum told me that my dad went for a job interview once and was gone for ages, so mum sat down in the hotel and read about a quarter of the bible.. I wouldn't. Boring.

    Oh, and I can't wait to read that official travel guide you've mentioned so much πŸ™‚ haha.

  • Ben
    Jul 03, 2009 3:33 pm

    I'm not religious at all. I completely agree with you about this issue, and I do think it's a rather serious issue. Okay, well maybe not global warming serious, or middle eastern war serious but it's still an issue that needs to be resolved.

    It's stupid really, I mean just cause you're going to a hotel, that in no way means that you're Christian. Your reasons do make sense. I highly doubt that they do it because they think everybody loves to read the bible before bed. I like your reason number 1, never thought of that before but it's so true!

  • Elizabeth
    Jul 03, 2009 3:08 pm

    I did better than expected, and yeah I feel better.
    I don't really know why they put bibles in hotels either. I know they put the Christian bible and the Mormon bibles.

  • Masoud
    Jul 03, 2009 11:50 am

    Hey πŸ™‚
    yes, Sweden. But it isn't as awesome as it might sound.
    Nothing ever happens here.. atleast not where I am πŸ˜›

    And yeah, You're the reason I won't put affiliates in my recent updates.
    You see; it is so embarrassig if I have to put you up there πŸ˜›
    Just kidding.. So, what have you been doing for the last couple of days I've been offline? πŸ™‚

  • Krystal
    Jul 03, 2009 9:57 am

    Agreed. Agreed. Agreed. I don't know what else to say except that I agree. Whole heartidly. Agreed.

  • Felicia
    Jul 03, 2009 8:45 am

    Jesus. They still do the bible-in-the-hotel-drawer thing? I thought that stopped in the 60s.

    They might as well just nail a giant, talking cross on every bedpost in the rooms. That way, every time you sat in your bed, or were about to do something bad with a hooker, you'd hear a line of scripture from a random passage in the bible, and feel really awkward about it.

    I added you too! πŸ™‚

  • Eka
    Jul 03, 2009 8:03 am

    That bothers me too! If they're going to have the Bible, the Torah, Quran, and whatever other holy books should be in there as well.

    And most people who need a bible while they're on vacation (or a business trip) take their own with them. I don't know what it is with those things, but it seems like people develop this emotional attachment to their bibles. It's creepy. THIS IS MY COPY OF THE NEW TESTAMENT! GET YOUR OWN!

    If I ever start a hotel chain, I'll put Satanism books in the drawers just to freak people out.

    I've added you to my affiliates by the way! πŸ˜‰

  • Axi
    Jul 03, 2009 7:36 am

    That is actually pretty interesting. From the couple of hotels that I have been to, I have never seen a bible at all. So this is sort of out of my expectations. That's weird, bibles in hotel rooms… wouldn't people already bring their own if they are religious? Doesn't make sense. Heh.

    And sure I'll be affiliates, I'll add you after putting up this comment.

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