Tales from the Crib

I frequently stumble across news articles about how children are witnessing too much violence on TV. I’m not here to argue whether this is true or not, but I do think the authors of these articles are hypocrites. I mean, children have always been exposed to traumatizing amounts of violence. Why start caring now?

Exhibit A:
“Rock-a-bye baby, on the treetop,
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock,
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby, cradle and all.”

What kind of sicko puts a baby in a tree and leaves him there so that the wind blows it and knocks him down? This death threat has been around since 1765. Censorship-concerned moms are happily singing it to their young ones with huge smiles on their faces.

I mean, close your eyes and actually try to picture what it’s saying. Personally, I imagine Jigsaw from the Saw movies eagerly waiting for his deathtrap’s bough to break. In the background, Rob Zombie is singing “Let the Babies Hit the Floor.”

What the hell did the baby ever do, anyway? It’s not like he deserved this horrible treatment. What crimes can a person commit at five months? Pooping in a diaper isn’t frowned upon until you’re at least thirty.

And did you know that “Rock-A-Bye Baby” is said to be one of the first poems ever written on American soil? Well jeez. That was a promising start for this country…

Back to the point: Long before TV shows and video games were scarring children, we had Mother Goose, or as I like to call her; Murderer Goose.

Murderer Goose also told us the delightful tale of “Jack and Jill.” You know, the one where Jack severely injures his head and Jill spasms uncontrollably while plummeting to her death.

“Humpty Dumpty” is similarly delectable (perhaps a poor choice of words?) The main character, your hero, falls off a wall and has his innards splatter all over the King’s men. No little kid should be subjected to this. The pain sounds eggcruciating.

There’s so much horrible violence being spooned to infants. Wouldn’t it be funny if parents had to lawfully announce a disclaimer to them? “Hansel and Gretel: Rated C for Cannibalism.”

All joking aside, it looks like violence has been a part of children’s lives for quite some time now. Television, ironically, might be the only opportunity for kids to see any happiness at all.

Leave Comment


  • Thuyy
    Jan 07, 2010 3:16 pm

    Ahahahahah so true.
    Hey Justtinnn.
    Haven't talked to you in a while.

  • Kitty
    Jan 07, 2010 8:36 am

    LOL What about that rhyme about some boy where they encourage him to jump over a burning candle stick or something? πŸ˜‰

  • Anna
    Jan 07, 2010 6:45 am

    Hahaha; I completely get what you mean by violent. I never liked fairy tales for that reason. Everything would make me sad. -.-

    LOL. Yeah. I haven't been in forever, and I'm so pumped!

    Thanks! You too.

  • Kitty
    Jan 06, 2010 11:20 pm

    Oh how do you know I was actually referring to you? Lol. Kidding. I was directing the Javascript thingy to everyone, including myself as to remind everyone about the downside to it.

    Life's been treating me well so far. How about yours?

  • Mallory
    Jan 06, 2010 9:16 pm

    Bwahaha! This entry made me laugh quite a bit. I love fun, 'random' entries that still have a sense of direction, and you've achieved this perfectly.

    You should apply to write for an entertainment or humour column in a magazine or newspaper or somethin', dude! O_O

  • Esme
    Jan 06, 2010 9:07 pm

    I never thought it that way! Especially the rock-a-bye baby one! I've heard of all the nursery rhymes mentioned but I have actually never thought about it that way until now.. huh now thinking about it that way it does seem alittle inappropriate for children and babies…

  • Quynh
    Jan 06, 2010 7:27 pm

    *reply to comment on my previous blog*
    Lol, nah, I'm not gonna reconfigure everything. That's too much work, but I wish I could. Thanks, :P. My friend didn't know anything about FTP or sub domains, but I wanted her to learn so I taught her and now she gets almost everything.
    – – – – – – – – –
    I agree with some things you said. I never heard of Jack and Jill, but now I have. Humpty Dumpty is just pretty random… This isn't a nursery rhyme, but I heard this so-called-joke where it went like this:

    Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house?

    A: It depends how hard you throw them.

    … That was pretty messed up, right? >_> Who thinks of such cruel jokes/rhymes. >:[ .. Gives me the chills.

  • Paige
    Jan 06, 2010 6:43 pm

    The new year for me was really boring. I babysat during the day & I was hoping to spend the evening with my boyfriend, but he went to a lock-in instead. ): So, I went to bed early. Hahah

    How was yours?

  • nancy
    Jan 06, 2010 6:13 pm

    Haha! Maybe that`s how war goes… "Oh yeah!?! We were just starting. Now we`re going to bring the REAL bad boys out right now!" then varsity comes out.

    But still, we had a bad season :/. 3 wins, 7 losses. But at least I had fun πŸ˜€

  • Katie
    Jan 06, 2010 5:55 pm

    haha these are totally true though. we all sing these nursery rhymes, without even realising what they're saying.. theres also the 'raining, pouring' song.. where the 'old man bumped his head and couldn't get up in the morning'.

    but when your little, you don't even know what violence is, so i guess it's not too bad. but it definitely made me feel a bit bad, singing these songs and not really thinking them through. baa baa black sheep has been reigned a rude song too..

  • nancy
    Jan 06, 2010 5:01 pm

    We don`t miss any classes for the football games :(. Except for the last 20 minutes of 4th period (before lunch) get ready for the pep rally thingr :O! The band bus leaves at like 5PM. Because we only go for the varsity games πŸ™ Which makes me feel bad for the JV`s.

  • Kathy
    Jan 06, 2010 4:11 pm

    Yeah! Well, I found my jacket in the classroom so I feel sorry cause the another person might of left the last classroom with no jacket and its pretty cold outside. D:

    Thats great! Oh cool. The Zoo sounds fun, but not very fun in the cold weather. D:

  • Carly
    Jan 06, 2010 4:04 pm

    Oh I hear ya! Its just that as little kids we didn't interpret it as violence, we just took the nursery rhyme as it was!

    Eesh, scary image man, you're freaking me out! Ikr?! The baby did nothing to you man, don't go hating on the baby!

    Oh the more I realize and look back on those, I get a weird and uncomfortable feeling. Like, we grew up on these, and they end up being sick and twisted!

    My Christmas was actually lovely, thanks! HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope its filled with lots of great adventures and happiness! LOLOL, actually at the tennis practice before break the girls and I were comparing arm muscle (manly, I know) and the guys were bitching about the crap on their shoes! I think we switched a little lol πŸ˜›

  • Alice
    Jan 06, 2010 3:51 pm

    Oh, the new year's been great πŸ™‚ I think everyone's tired of 2009…and people are all like, bring it on 2010! '09 was an insane year, I guess. I'm just sad that that means two more years until 2012 πŸ˜›

    o.O I see those articles too! And every time, I just want to scream YOU IDIOTS ARE IGNORANT. Because it's not just the nursery rhymes (though yes, that baby one is quite terrifying o_o) but video games and TV shows and classic stuff too. Like, sometimes I'm watching things on television and I like old children's shows, so I watch them a lot, and then people die and I'm like, okay, and then I realize…wait. FIVE year olds watch that stuff. Sure, they should know that people DIE, but they shouldn't be shown it in such a careless manner. Goddamn o_o

    And yeah, I guess being exposed to "violent" stuff isn't that much of a threat…but it's still kind of…not good. It might just depend on the kind of "violence." I mean, I highly doubt babies would consider moralities of death and life and stuff if they're barely six months old xD

    And haha, you hit some REALLY excellent points xD I like the Hansel and Gretel one. And I never realized the cannibalism until like…a few years ago. And I'm fifteen, which probably doesn't say much (or maybe it does?), but this shit is fucked up. Fo'sho.

    You forgot Ring Around The Rosie, though. The Black Plague and all. Ew. XD

  • Nancy
    Jan 06, 2010 3:01 pm

    Currently, I`m a 10th grader. &during freshmen yearr, I probably went to around 5 trips last year? :O! This year, I went to 7 field trips for the football games; &4 other related/unrelated trips so far. Basically, at least 2 a month right now. πŸ™‚

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