Word to your Puppy

Rap music is dead. I used to love it, but the songs that come out these days sound like kittens dying of strangulation. The lyrics are blatantly uninspired, the vocals mimic malfunctioning robots, and the rhymes could be topped by five-year old children.

But none of this trumps the bizarre background noises. To some rappers, a song isn’t a song unless it has at least fifty “yeahs” and “whats.” I swear, I was listening to a rap song the other day, and the “singer” was barking.

This is a problem. Why the hell do rappers bark in their music? It’s so awkward. Do they think they’re dogs?

I wouldn’t be surprised. You never know who might be having an identity crisis with names such as Snoop Doggy Dog and Lil’ Bow Wow.

Come to think of it, there is a strong correlation between dogs and dawgs. They both wear huge chains (for us to walk them). And since they refer to females as bitches, perhaps the barking is part of a mating call.

In my psychology class, I learned that aggressive behavior, such as barking, is motivated by a challenge for social status in a pack. Perhaps these rappers have insecurities and want us to feel sympathy for them.

They probably want to give off the impression that they’re smarter and more talented than they truly are… Or maybe I’m giving them too much credit, and they simply want to look like jackasses.

Some of these gangstas are definitely unstable, but we shouldn’t reward their pathetic yipping and buy their albums. It’s creepy. I feel uneasy knowing that man’s best friend is Lil’ Jon.

Besides, it’s pretty sad when you strive to be a dog. Dogs are stupid. Almost every other animal has more intelligence. Look at cats… There’s no way you could ever trick eight cats to pull a sled through the freezing snow.

Dogs are idiots. If I ever came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over you, what would you think?

I suppose there are some pros to acting like a dog. Mutts are, potentially, a good influence. They’re sweet, friendly, and super cute. And if it weren’t for dogs, some people might never go for a walk.

In conclusion, I’m not really sure what’s going on between rappers and canines. All I know is that the comparison is appropriate. Like dogs, rappers produce a lot of crap.

Leave Comment


  • Kemi
    May 11, 2010 1:18 pm

    Hijinks and tomfoolery!! Loved it!!

  • Mimi
    May 09, 2010 11:32 pm

    Oh god I heard this Ludacris song the other day and I was like, sweet! I love Luda! Then some weird kid started making noises or something, I was like what the fack is this?!?!? It hurt my ears and I switched to 90's rock. 90's is the best anyway. πŸ˜›

  • Chiui
    May 09, 2010 5:36 am

    Hahaha OMG Justin. Your blogs never fail to amuse me greatly.

    Yeah you're so right about the connection "between dogs and dawgs". :))

    "recent rappers have produced a lot of crap" AMEN! XDDD

  • Sindara
    May 03, 2010 6:01 pm

    Yes, thank godness that I wasn't lying there under a branch unable to breath, and crying out to anyone that walks by just to give me a crazed look. πŸ™‚

    How have you been, my darling?

  • Ria
    Apr 19, 2010 3:45 pm

    Lol this post made me laugh, and I agree cats are made of win.

    Site looks great Justin!!

  • Angelica
    Apr 17, 2010 1:59 pm

    ROFL I've never thought of the connection but now that you've pointed it out it seems pretty obvious! I like dogs though. But not the rapper dawgs.

  • Chynna
    Apr 15, 2010 1:47 pm

    just dropped to say… HEYYY πŸ˜€

  • andrew jones (tall skinny kiwi)
    Apr 09, 2010 1:40 am

    great blog justin. hope studies are going well for you.

  • Erin Nicole
    Apr 08, 2010 3:33 pm

    First, LMFAO! I love this. I could stop laughing between your banner and everything you said. I agree with ALL of it. Rap is gay, end of story.
    I don't think I have ever heard barking in rap music but if I did that would so make my day, like totally. I'd be laughing at that barking for weeks, maybe even months on end. I'd probably buy that song on iTunes just to laugh every time I listen to it. Okay, I probably wouldn't buy it on iTunes but I'd listen to it every day on youtube so I could laugh at those rappers.

    Second, I love dogs! THEY ARE CUTE! Lol. Those are some good points though. I hate it that my dog sniffs my crotch but I love it when she licks my face. <3 I don't know, I guess I'm weird like that. πŸ˜›

    Finally, I love your layout. 'nuff said. πŸ™‚

  • Sindara
    Apr 06, 2010 7:55 am

    Better with what junk?

    It is no problem. I have advertise the forum on the last post too. They all say they are too busy or they will procrastinate, more

  • Monica
    Apr 05, 2010 3:17 am

    There are 2 things I look at when I listen to rap music. 1)The lyrics 2)The rapper's voice.

    On the radio, I keep hearing this guy saying "take your shirt off" and he sounds like he's choking on a freaking furball. Oh wait, they're supposed to be dogs XD LOL.

    So I have to say that I agree with you.
    But there are some decent rappers out there. They're just hard to find.

    In fact, my favourite rapper – who is probably the only rapper I listen to – has a song that talks about being rejected by record companies because his lyrics were too smart πŸ™

    Anyway, interesting rant here πŸ™‚

  • Renzo
    Mar 31, 2010 9:05 pm

    I totally agree with you, rap music sound like kittens dying of strangulation. Rap music industry is getting worse and worse every year. I simply don't like rap music. And oh, I sometimes don't understand what they're saying. Hahaha.

  • Liz
    Mar 31, 2010 12:18 pm

    I don't like a lot of rap music. Some I can stand, such as the Christian rappers, but others are what I can't stand, which are the ones that rap about practically anything. It sounds like they are just talking, you know? Like poetry, only uglier. So I just listen to beats.

    And thank you, for commenting about Pennies for Paws. A lot of people keep calling me out on it. They're not even reading what it's about or what it is for. They're merely saying things such as "Wow. You've started your own charity case… Not something I expected from you." I don't know… There are worse e-mails than that one, but yeah. Anyway, thank you for not bashing me about it xD πŸ™‚

  • Josheh
    Mar 29, 2010 4:50 am

    Unfortunately, I'm not that big a fan of rap, but I have heard from friends about the same thing. I don't think that it's just rap which is going into decline, I think that most genre's are, and probably the one which can't go into decline is pop, because it's ever changing, which is what people like about it. Maybe it could pick up again in a couple of years, who knows?

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