It’s Time to Get a Watch

About a year ago, my boyfriend bought me this really neat Spider-Man watch. It was clearly designed for a 10-year-old, but even so, I absolutely loved it. I wore it all the time. Unfortunately, one day it ended up with my dirty laundry, and, well, let’s just say Spidey met his match with Dr. Spin Cycle.

Since then, I’ve remained watch-less. And with my cellphone also destroyed, I’m left with no dependable way of checking the time. Normally I wouldn’t mind asking others for it, but frankly, I’m getting sick of the lame-ass retort: It’s time to get a watch.

Whoever came up with that sorry excuse of a joke might not need to get a watch, but he should probably get a life.

But honestly, I shouldn’t get so worked up about it. I don’t have the time. No really… no one wants to tell me it.

I admit that I’ll never be able to prevent the lame quip, so instead, I’ve prepared a couple of decent comebacks:

“Yeah, well, it’s time to get a new joke.”

“It’s time to slap yourself in the face.”

“It’s time for me to steal your watch, drop you off at a nursing home, and while you’re battling to ignore the stench of crap and peas from the old people’s diapers, I hope you come to realize that you’ll never know the time again because most of these grannies don’t even know what planet they’re on.”

Okay, I fail.

Maybe the whole thing is my fault. Maybe the way I ask for time is confusing. Sometimes I send mixed signals. For example, I point at my wrist when asking for the time, but I don’t point at my crotch when asking for the bathroom.

Screw it. I’ll just wear the remains of my Spider-Man watch. Heck, even a broken watch is right twice a day (unless you’re in the military).

I may not know the time, but I know that time is money — you can spend, waste, and even invest it; and I refuse to waste anymore time on these obnoxious pooheads.

Wait. Shit. It’s too late. This blog is basically their shrine.

Ah, well, that’s life. And if life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let’s just all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.

Leave Comment

Jul 06 7:35 am

love the ending of the post and the 'spidey' watch

Dec 17 8:56 pm

I have a watch it was liek $20 and now I'm like how did I ever not have a watch. It's super slim and comfy from rumbatime they even make slap watches which I'm eyeing now. I never use my phone anymore to tell time except in the morning when I'm not wearing the watch. How can you live without either lol

Dec 01 6:39 am


Nov 27 12:22 am

What I love about asking people for the time is you can tell what kind of watch they have with how specific the time is. (about 12:30. Oh. analog. 6:57. Digital)

I think you should invest in a sundial instead of a new watch. You can be a trendsetter. 😀

Nov 17 4:29 am

Maybe you should tell your boyfriend to buy a nice watch for your birthday. Although I got a watch and phone that works properly sometimes I’m lost in translation, it’s okay!!!

Nov 14 11:28 am

ask your bf for a cartier! pssshh

Nov 02 9:32 pm

"And if life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's just all get wasted together and have the time of our lives." Ahhh, I love the closing sentence.. How about asking the hubby for a new watch? 😀 hehe

Oct 30 10:43 pm

hahaha, you are hilarious.
"it's time to get a watch", is a classic.

so what? Did you stopped blogging. 🙁

Oct 28 8:42 pm

I love your entries it gives me good vibes eveytime I read it.

Oct 17 12:55 pm

I like you. You have balls. I like balls.

Great site name bro! 😀

Oct 12 2:54 am

aw i love the way you ended this blog and i really enjoyed reading this blog, my first time reading a blog from you and i loved it haha. wish you would blog more often. and omg i mentioned the word "blog" to many times haha.

Oct 03 4:19 pm

LOL that statement really bothers you huh? I'd say most people aren't serious when they say it. I mean I've been guilty of saying it before, but I never meant it, it's just funny, at the time, to throw in that lame line, laugh and then tell the time. I've never came across anyone until now that actually took it to heart and seriously got offended by it.

I've also never been told it in a serious manner, when I've been told it's always just a joke like before, they laugh and tell me the time.

Why don't you just invest in another watch? I mean I know it won't be your Spider Man watch, but it will get the job done, right? That would solve the whole dilemma.

Sep 09 2:34 pm

Hey – you still around? I miss reading your blogs..


My name is Justin, and you've stumbled upon my home on the web. From writing and coding to theater and cosplay, I'm always up to something. I haven’t been myself ever since I was born.

Stay In Touch

Enjoy what you've seen? Feel free to follow me on social media! I'm so thankful to live in a time where we can use social media instead of social skills.
© Copyright 2012 - 2019 Justin Hanks , All Rights Reserved.