Your Clothes aren’t Gay

Well that’s gay. That’s soooo gay. That’s like totes uber gay. Bleh. You have no idea how many times I hear that awful phrase… uber.

… Okay, obviously I’m joking. My real gripe is with the word gay – a word that represents me – being used to express dislike and hate. I hear so many things called gay: homework, exams, traffic… One time I even heard a girl say, “My mom and dad are so gay!”

What the hell does that even mean? Was she adopted?

There are so many expressions about other minorities that people wouldn’t dare to say, but quips like “that’s so gay” and “no homo” are all over the place.

It’s ridiculous. The word gay used to mean happy. Now it means the complete opposite. It’s like when hipsters call something bad but really mean it’s good but truly mean it’s bad but ultimately mean nothing because they’re being “ironic.”

Considering the root definition, calling someone gay should be a compliment. Why doesn’t anybody ever say “Oh Em Gee! I love your bag! It’s so gay!”

One time, I was wearing a colorful jacket and somebody called it gay. Gah. Yes, I suppose in the grand scheme of things, my jacket prefers to mate with other jackets of the same sex. If I recall correctly, I actually found homoerotic magazines under its bed. Inside, there were highly explicit pictures of jackets taking it up the sleeve. They popped their collars, unzipped each other, turned inside out, and completely exposed their tags. There were even interracial pictures between a jacket and a muumuu.

On a serious note, being gay is not some zinger. I was born with a burdening secret. Growing up, I heard so many false, misleading, and downright mean things about who I was and what I was going to become. It’s unfair.

I totally believe in freedom of speech, but when you know you’re saying something hurtful, do you want to be THAT person who keeps saying it anyway?

Besides, there are so many awesome alternatives: that’s so vile! that’s so applesauce! that gives me the collywobbles! what a load of hooey! horseapples! poppycock! that’s so uber jacket!

I guess my point is that words can hurt, and in today’s world, members of the LGBTQABCDEFG community already have enough to deal with. Next time you’re pissed off at life, remember; the world isn’t gay… I am.

Leave Comment


  • CharlieIsADemigod
    Apr 17, 2016 5:37 am

    It’s unfair when people say stuff like this! Just because a boy’s wearing pink (for example) doesn’t mean that you can go and call them gay.

  • Isabel
    Jan 16, 2016 10:56 pm

    My Brothers call my clothes gay all the time. Then I call their clothes cats (since I hate saying bad things) and they're like "Wtf?!"

  • Stephanie
    Jul 10, 2012 9:25 am

    It's silly how we are constantly changing the meaning of words so we have to keep making new ones. It's odd how a word that just used to mean happy, then meant that you like other people of the same sex, then went straight to a derogatory term. I sometimes wonder how the first jump began in the first place? Not to mention telling someone they are gay is a poor insult anyway. "You are so gay!" "why, yes, I am extrodinarily happy! It's too bad that you're life is so meaningless that you have to try to insult others with such poor creativity."

    In order to not be offended by people's misuse of words I try to think of their sentences in literal terms. For example, if someone were to say "school is so gay" I imagine a school filled with rainbows and people of the same sex hand in hand prancing around happily, with unicorns and nyan cat thrown in for good measure. If someone were to say "that flower is retarded" I say "Well, if it isn't growing fast enough, maybe you should water it!".

  • Clint
    Jun 03, 2012 12:58 pm

    I think people are overrated with the use of the word "gay". I mean, it's like they are using it as a word replacement.

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