17

MAY

Your Clothes aren’t Gay

Well that’s gay. That’s soooo gay. That’s like totes uber gay. Bleh. You have no idea how many times I hear that awful phrase… uber.

… Okay, obviously I’m joking. My real gripe is with the word gay – a word that represents me – being used to express dislike and hate. I hear so many things called gay: homework, exams, traffic… One time I even heard a girl say, “My mom and dad are so gay!”

What the hell does that even mean? Was she adopted?

There are so many expressions about other minorities that people wouldn’t dare to say, but quips like “that’s so gay” and “no homo” are all over the place.

It’s ridiculous. The word gay used to mean happy. Now it means the complete opposite. It’s like when hipsters call something bad but really mean it’s good but truly mean it’s bad but ultimately mean nothing because they’re being “ironic.”

Considering the root definition, calling someone gay should be a compliment. Why doesn’t anybody ever say “Oh Em Gee! I love your bag! It’s so gay!”

One time, I was wearing a colorful jacket and somebody called it gay. Gah. Yes, I suppose in the grand scheme of things, my jacket prefers to mate with other jackets of the same sex. If I recall correctly, I actually found homoerotic magazines under its bed. Inside, there were highly explicit pictures of jackets taking it up the sleeve. They popped their collars, unzipped each other, turned inside out, and completely exposed their tags. There were even interracial pictures between a jacket and a muumuu.

On a serious note, being gay is not some zinger. I was born with a burdening secret. Growing up, I heard so many false, misleading, and downright mean things about who I was and what I was going to become. It’s unfair.

I totally believe in freedom of speech, but when you know you’re saying something hurtful, do you want to be THAT person who keeps saying it anyway?

Besides, there are so many awesome alternatives: that’s so vile! that’s so applesauce! that gives me the collywobbles! what a load of hooey! horseapples! poppycock! that’s so uber jacket!

I guess my point is that words can hurt, and in today’s world, members of the LGBTQABCDEFG community already have enough to deal with. Next time you’re pissed off at life, remember; the world isn’t gay… I am.

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49 Comments

  • Jen
    May 24, 2012 9:00 am

    I actually laughed on the Justin Bieber part. πŸ˜› I am (quite) guilty of using the word "gay". Though I have gay/lesbian/bisexual friends, I still use the "gay" to connote something, uh, "not-so-likely". Maybe it is the media who influenced me, and it is our society's fault as to why I keep on doing it. Oh well, I'll stick to your recommendation. maybe now I'll just use "That's so applesauce!" πŸ˜› Haha!

    Kidding aside, I am actually happy when there are members of LGBT in our circle of friends, they bring "color" to our friendship. πŸ™‚ They are normal people, though the (large part of the) society thinks they're not. So I guess labeling them with a word that is somewhat degrading or lowly is just not right.


  • tiff k
    May 24, 2012 6:22 am

    Oh dear! I am guilty of using "that's gay!" *shameful* I'm really sorry but I don't mean for it to be bad. Society and media have infiltrated my mind -_- I don't use it all the time though and I hope to mind myself more. I do have gay friends and they're awesome (like you!!) πŸ˜€


  • Aashni
    May 23, 2012 9:57 am

    I used to use the word "gay" a lot a few years ago, and then I realised how it was having a negative effect on the way we think about it, and how it reflects to people who are in fact gay. I've learnt to stop using it, and spend a lot of time trying to get people I hear to stop using it as well. It's just rude, and almost barbaric.. Kinda goes back to using other words that we "shouldn't really be using"

    I must commend you on your paragraph on the jackets being gay together. That really made me laugh. I didn't realise how sexual clothes could be to one another! haha

    I actually fly quite frequently nowadays, since my university is in Toronto, and my home is in Kenya… very far away from each other! lol. Before, I used to travel at least once a year with the family… so lots of travelling experience for me πŸ™‚

    Thanks for the compliment on my layout πŸ™‚ I've actually been working hard to get them to look… better to say the least! I plan on making a new layout, but I don't see myself actually having any time for that in the near future.. we shall see.

    And i revived you from the graveyard πŸ˜› hehe.. I actually revived you before reading your post πŸ˜› lol. I'm so glad you're back into blogging! you're blogs are usually some of my favorite to read πŸ™‚


  • Krystal
    May 22, 2012 4:07 pm

    I am very guilty of using the word gay to describe things/people. But one day, I told myself I really need to STOP using it and I did. And to just to say, I only started using it because of other people who used it. The more I heard it being used, the more it became incorporated into the way I spoke. Now, I use other words, like ridiculous, that don't hurt other people.

    I'm glad that there are campaigns out there that tells people to stop using the word gay other than describing a gay person/people, but it will probably take a couple of more years just to eliminate the word being used wrongly forever.

    I saw someone mention in their own comment that people throw around words like they don't have any meaning and I have to agree. I have seen people use the word rape loosely numerous times and it honestly angers me because rape isn't funny and should NOT be used in a comment like this: "I totally raped the replay button!" Same with a lot of other words like retard/retarded which I never use.


  • Angelica
    May 22, 2012 1:09 pm

    I also think it's sad how people are using that word these days. In Sweden the word isn't used in the same way as in the US but many people here just as in the US look down on people of other sexual preferences than straight.

    I have gay/bi/transgender friends and I don't want them to suffer prejudices and hurt over their sexuality.

    It's so stupid. One think that in the year 2012 we'd come further than we have when it comes to these things.


  • Elie
    May 22, 2012 11:53 am

    People nowadays are so arrogant. They throw around words like they mean nothing. A few of those are molest and rape. They think it's harmless but no, they just use those words casually as if they hold no meaning.


  • Christine
    May 22, 2012 9:46 am

    I agree 100%! When I was teaching high school that's all I used to hear. Whether it was a homework assignment, a book, or sometimes even me…it was "gay." I started taking points off of their final averages for every time they used the phrase. (1point per time said). It's strange how it has become a fixed structure in their vocabulary. They don't even know what they are saying half of the time. Now, teaching college, it doesn't happen at all, but I can still remember my daily battle with this issue in my last job. It's insane!


  • Mallory
    May 21, 2012 10:29 am

    Dude, I agree completely! My youngest brother recently learnt the phrase 'That's so gay' recently, I'm guessing from YouTube where he spends most of his time, and I actually just explained yesterday to him why it wasn't a good thing to say.

    I'm not sure if he entirely understood the explanation I gave him, (('Riley, you don't say 'That's so gay!' You can say anything else. Say, 'That's fucking stupid!' Saying 'that's gay' is mean to gay people. Guys sometimes like guys, and girls sometimes like girls, and that's okay, but making fun of gay people is NOT okay',)) But he hasn't said anything of the sort since, so I'm hoping it worked.

    =)


  • Hyeoni
    May 20, 2012 5:08 pm

    Omg Justin! I'm so guilty! I used to…USED.. >__<… to use that word when I was a middle schooler up until in mid high school. I stopped when my high school implemented every homeroom teacher to lecture us and said that saying words "retarded, stupid (I still say stupid), or gay" is not right because there are people who are gay and people who are "retarded." He went on saying we might not mean to insult (which I wasn't I swear! I have nothing against gays and retards lol) but it is an offensive word to others. So after that lecture from him, I stopped! πŸ™‚ I was pretty naive and narrow minded back then so I didn't think how my words affected other people. But I still hear it often from the kids and…it's because they just don't know and their immature, like how I was. It's like a teenage language. I think high schools in general should implement lectures on offensive terms used often among their group age. To make them aware how it affects other people. By high school we should have reasonable amount of reasoning developed by then, lol. Teens who care will take it seriously. πŸ™‚ Others will take up until late adulthood to stop. The phrase "that's so gay" is very childish and teenage like and will eventually go away as they get old. I don't hear that phrase among my age group anymore! I do still see "no homo" among boys though… But I'm sorry that you had to go through that… I hope in the future when homosexuals are more widely known, people will eventually stop abusing these words. *hugs*


  • Jas
    May 20, 2012 10:38 am

    TOTALLT agree with this. I get so annoyed everytime someone uses it in an inappropriate way. Glad someone has finally blogged about this!! xox


  • Antonio
    May 20, 2012 7:39 am

    You're right. People use the word "gay" as a negative connotation and it's very rude. We're trying to obliterate hate and misunderstandings of homosexuality in the world. So those people who use those derogatory statements aren't helping. It is really sad that in the year 2012, even with all the progression LGBTQABCDEFG (:P) has made, there is still so much ignorance and hate in the world. Maybe one day we'll get somewhere and it'll be equality all around.

    You should start a "Stop Saying: That's So Gay" movement blog. Because you're all like talented and stuff. ^_^

    By the way, loved how deep you really got. That last line in the last paragraph, was raw and deep. Kudos, Justin.


  • Cat
    May 19, 2012 1:43 pm

    I have to admit that I used to call things "gay" when I was young =( As I grew older, I learned how offensive it was and replaced it with other sayings. (My favorite is "that's silly".) It's not only offensive, but it sounds really immature too. Fortunately, I feel like I don't see or hear that saying as much anymore.


  • Meaghan
    May 19, 2012 1:24 pm

    Yeup, I'm a weird one.
    I've never seen a sunrise before! So that was my only chance. I will never ever be waking up that early ever again. Unless it's to catch a plane… or something.

    Too late now. Prom is today… -__-

    I ABSOLUTELY HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY "NO HOMO." What in the eff is that supposed to mean? People go, "You're so pretty! No homo." & I want to slap them in the face.

    LOL about the jackets. πŸ˜›

    You have the hots for JB!? We cannot be friends anymore.

    Joking! πŸ™‚ But seriously, JB is a no no.

    I used to say "that's so gay!" all the time, but since I entered high school, I stopped. I became friends with an openly gay person (who turned out to be a huge jerk) & he would cringe every time someone said that.

    I just think it's immature now.


  • Nancy
    May 19, 2012 11:40 am

    Back in the earlier years in high school & middle school, I always hear people using gay as an insult. But as years go by, I hear less and less of this, as my school's GSA goes out to educate everyone else about this mess. Even now, I snap at people for using the term negatively. If it's used positively, I let it slide. It's good, good ;D.

    I still wonder how this became some kind of trend. And instead of using gay as a description, use fabulous. Or beautiful :D. Your jacket is beautiful, Justin. ^__^

    There's no point in being a total douchebag when it comes to picking out your words based on your belief in free speech. It's more of a moral thing, if you want to be known as a cool kid, or a moron.

    At camp, we learn about ways to secure our computer and network better. I'm not entirely sure, but it's something relating to that. πŸ˜€

    Take care ;D!


  • Clarisse
    May 19, 2012 6:08 am

    It's like words are just being thrown around now, without any care for the actual meanings of the words.

    The word "gay" isn't even something negative to begin with, yet it's being used all the time as some generic negative word, and it just doesn't make sense to me.

    This post was so true, but also really funny, so I really enjoyed reading it! πŸ™‚


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