I started writing when I was four. I focused primarily on my alphabet, my first name, and the socio-political factors of the 1635 Franco-Spanish War.
All kidding aside, I'm a devoted writer. I blog about silly rants and pet peeves. Like, why must everyone wear pants? Why do hurricanes have names? Why can minors drink root beer?
I post new entries when I remember. I wanted to add a joke about writer's block, but I couldn't come up with anything.
In my experience, first dates are awkward. When I barely know the other person, it becomes a struggle to keep the conversation going. Inevitably, I run out of things to say and there’s a long pause where no one talks. I hate that silence. It sends mixed signals, makes everyone uncomfortable, and, most importantly, provides [...]
Outside of work, you’ll never see me wearing pants. I hate the way they look. I hate the way they feel. I hate the way the formfitting material makes me accidentally twerk. It’s no secret that I have a big ol’ man booty, and pants make it look even bigger. I don’t care if they’re [...]
I’ve come to the conclusion that everybody in the world hates me, or everybody in the world is deaf, or both. I think it’s the last one. Yup, that’s the only logical explanation. The planet is full of hearing-impaired jackasses that don’t care about me. It’s a Deaf Jam Justin Slam. Why, you ask? Well, [...]