The Blogger

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06

JAN

Fat People Can’t Fly

I’m not the biggest fan of airplanes. For one, I’m afraid of heights. I also find the chairs cramped and uncomfortable. Lastly, I don’t enjoy sitting next to complete strangers who, with my luck, are frequently gassy. If someone told me I could never board a plane again, I’d happily oblige. Goodbye and good riddance. [...]

03

JAN

Was that a Sneeze? Bitch, Please!

I’ve come to the conclusion that everybody in the world hates me… Or everybody in the world is deaf… Or both. Yup, that’s it. That’s the only possible explanation. The planet is full of hearing-impaired jackasses that don’t care about me. It’s a Deaf Jam Justin Slam. Why, you ask? Well, for as long as I can [...]

28

DEC

Candlelight Dinners are for Ugly People

You eat steak at a steak dinner. You eat turkey at a turkey dinner. What the hell do you eat at a candlelight dinner? I’m sorry, but I’ve recently developed a hatred for candlelight dinners. They’re stupid, and, consequently, they’re now on my list of “things that make you go derp” – along with dancing Santas, [...]

About

My name is Justin, and you've stumbled upon my home on the web. From writing and coding to theater and cosplay, I'm always up to something. I haven’t been myself ever since I was born.

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